Remember Whose Child You Are

Remember Whose Child You Are

I don't know when the idea came to me but I do remember the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that lead to it. I was in my previous marriage  at the time and my husband was heavy into drugs and alcohol often raging about something, real or made up.  I was doing my best in the circumstances I lived in to raise my children for the Lord. I knew I had made mistakes and would make more in my endeavor to try an shield my kids from the ugliness of some of the things in their world. 

At a young age I tried to get them to understand that there will be times I fail them or wouldn't always be there for them. There might even be times they were afraid and I wouldn't be able to be there to protect them. But there was a God, a Father in heaven who would always be there and who loved them more than I ever could. He went wherever they went and was aware of everything they did. I told them that before they were my children, they were the Lord's. And that's where the phrase came from, "remember who's child you are." 

As my children grew older, I knew they would not always be around me. They would gain more independence,  have friends of their own to go off with, and I wasn't going to be there to influence or correct their actions. So each time they left the house out into the world with out me, besides saying, I love you, I would tell them, "remember whose child you are." It was later followed up with a reminder, "You're a child of a King and you should act accordingly." I wanted them to always be aware of their actions and know that I'm not the only one who holds them accountable. I could only hold them accountable for what I knew about, but God sees all and they would one day answer to Him for their actions good or bad.

Therapists and doctors today will tell a person that the poor choices they make are due to the mistakes their parents made while raising them. It takes the blame off the one making poor choices, gives them an excuse, and frees them from accountability. There comes a point in everyone's life, or at least it should, when you know right from wrong. If you know right from wrong, you're  able to decide for yourself which you'll choose. 

 Like I mentioned in my first blog post, in my late teens I faced some major depression and anxiety; accompanied by alcohol and  other means of self destruction. Of course I had an excuse for it. I was living in a home that was often out of control, that, and I was a teenager. Was I aware of God in my life? Yes. Did I lean on Him in times of trouble and when I had feelings of desperation? Not as I should have. Did I drink and sleep with guys in order to drown out the pain and confusion, to find self worth and experience love and acceptance? Yes. Could I have brought all of my hurt, shame, and anger to the Lord? Would He have comforted me? Did He send people in my life to influence and guide me? Yes, yes, yes to it all!!! It's all a spiritual battle we can chose to fight or give in to, yet rarely do people see it that way. I didn't act that way and give into the depression, anxiety, and all that other stuff because of the way I was raised or the things I experienced in life. It was because I failed to recognize the spiritual battle and listened to the lies of the devil. Having this knowledge hasn't left me anxiety free and with out any bouts of depression, I am still human living in a broken world. However, when I take it to the Lord, who's very name covers and protects me, I gain freedom from it!

God is, Jehovah Shammah, the Lord who is there. He is Jehovah Jireh, The One Who Provides.  Jehovah Shalom, the Lord of Peace, and He is El Elyon, The Most High God. If He is my Heavenly Father then I am the daughter of a King!  In my poor choice to turn from Him, the most high God, who is always there, provides a way out, and offers peace, I looked to the world, and what it had to offer instead. My choices damaged family relationships and further damaged my self esteem. It wasn't my upbringing, it was how I chose to deal with my upbringing.

 My teenage and early adult years, a time of life I don't talk too much about, I'm not at all proud of it, as it shows me in an ugly light. However, God always saw me as beautiful. A beautiful mess perhaps, but beautiful. The way I dealt with my life just brought me more guilt and shame. I had aunts boldly, sometimes harshly, pointing out my sin, it made me pile on even more guilt. I held on to it instead of giving it to the one who had already redeemed it.  Instead of facing it, I let it eat at me. Sometimes I would try to turn to the Lord in my own power, but I never made the full commitment to give over everything, all of my ugliness.

 It wasn't until then, when I completely gave it all to Him did I begin to find peace. When you live in fear of being found out that you're a big fake, you're not the perfect person you're trying to be...When you live in fear that nobody will love you the way you are, or that you'll never fit in, or have  fear of anything, you won't have peace. The opposite of peace is fear. When we hold on to fear we can't have peace. Through Jehovah Shalom we can live in peace, or freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. Through that peace we can live as the child of The most High King, just as we're called to be.

I have had an idea for quite a while about blogging on the idea of being the daughter or a child of the King, but I wasn't sure from what perspective to take it from. It wasn't until after listening to a speaker at Saturday's Morning Tea for the ladies at church, sharing a piece of my testimony with another woman there, and dealing with some family issues that echoed the very loudly the need for everyone to keep in mind that they are a child of The Most High and we should act accordingly.

As much as I had always told my children through out their lives to remember who's child they were, I hadn't turned it around to myself. I didn't really start doing that until almost three years ago when someone handed me a book they thought I should read called, His Princess by Sheri Rose Shepherd. The point in wanting my children to remember who's child they were wasn't just because I wanted them to take responsibility for their actions but to know they were special and loved, not just by me, but a king! This book is written as a collection of letters from The King to us his Princess. Apparently it was something I needed to read.

We are children of the Most High King and we should act accordingly. What does that look like? It's funny that the speaker Saturday discussed the very idea of being a child of God. She used an illustration that pricked my heart a bit, because I couldn't relate to it. She described what it was like to be a little girl holding on to her daddy's strong hand, and while her hand was in his she felt safe and strong and that she could do anything. She related that feeling to what it is like to return and trust in the Lord. I have absolutely no idea what that is like. I never had a touch from my earthly father that felt safe. Although I longed for that very feeling, to put my hand in a big, strong, encouraging hand, that steadies my steps. Not having that left a hole in my heart that I tried to fill with so many worldly and self destructive things, everything but God. The one who had been holding out His hand all along. All I had to do is reach out and take it. When I finally did, He lifted me up, set me straight, and as long as I hold on He keeps me steady. 

18 “I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,

Says the LordAlmighty.”( 2 Corinthians 6:18)

Being a child of The King means to walk in faith. With faith, you can't have doubt. There's no doubt which way to go in life if you trust Him enough to follow Him. Isaiah 48:17 reminds us to listen He will tell us which way to go. "Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer,The Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you by the way you should go." And, "For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught." (Proverbs 3:26) Life is going to be hard, in our humanness we will make mistakes but those mistakes are what we do, not who we are. He will keep us from being caught or unable to escape. Keep moving in the direction He calls you.

Your crown may be a little beat up, tarnished, and it may be missing a few jewels, but your title of Prince or Princess of The Most High can never be taken away. Walk in the position you hold, with your mangled crown on your head, looking forward to Him, and keep going! My hope and future are in Jehovah Shammah, the Lord who is there; Jehovah Jireh, The One Who Provides; Jehovah Shalom, the Lord of Peace, and in El Elyon, The Most High God, My Heavenly Father. 

Remember Whose Child You Are.

**

Jehovah Shalom- the Lord is Peace Judges 6:24

Jehovah Shammah-The Lord is there Ezekiel 48:35

Jehovah Jireh- The Lord Will Provide Genesis 22:14

Elyon- The Most High God 

Genesis 14:18

Get Out of Your Head

Get Out of Your Head, You Have No Friends In There!

Coming from a life where there once was isolation and abuse (those first words are extremely hard to put out there), being a natural introvert, and having had major battles of depression and anxiety, sometimes I can find it very easy to retreat from people or life experiences in general, and just become invisible. But I know that isn't where God wants me. As many may know from my first blog post, http://deeds4him.blogspot.com/2015/06/hope-and-future-just-beginning.html

God didn't bring me this far in life to just become invisible. 

Now I understand, all humans have bouts of feeling anxious or depressed that's a normal part of life. However, when you have those times and they keep you from doing what you know you need to be doing, you better be on your knees before God. That's when you need more strength to just get up and move forward. Yet I also know, in the middle of it all it isn't always easy to recognize the need. 

Now, I've spent a huge chunk of my life just living in my head. I've learned if you stay too long, it could be dangerous. There are no friends in there! Your mind is Satan's favorite place to play and attack. While I have gotten better and feel like the Lord has delivered me from anxiety and depression it doesn't mean I don't slip back once in a while. 

Just this past week or so, I have had a pretty big battle. It's been quite a while since I felt this bad. Tonight it scared me. I don't like to admit it and for the most part, I "think" I'm good at hiding it. I didn't do anything to try and make it better. I didn't talk about it, I didn't pray about it, I did some complaining to God though, I didn't do my Bible Study homework, which would have been helpful considering the topic I found out about today. I missed out on good stuff because I chose to wallow around in "my" depression. Yup, I claimed it and stayed there, in "my" depression. Why do I do that to myself? 

What do I have to feel so anxious and depressed about, that I stop what I need to be doing in life? Living. Now, I know the old reasons I had, but God has restored and redeemed all of that. So where does it all come from?

Of course there's that old enemy we like to blame, but often we're our worst enemy. Satan, he just helps add to it. All Satan does is throw lies on top of a situation already created, either by ourselves or just a life interruption. So when I began to slip into my head and think about the difficulties in our finances, needing to get a better job and increase my income, being the Godly wife my husband needs, following God the way He calls, and realizing true or not, I'm failing at all of those things, or so I think; I listen to the father of lies who tells me "I'm no good, I'm unworthy of love, would never make a good pastor's wife, never be able to minister to other young women the way I feel called to, I can't even hear from the Lord, there's no fire in me, and who do I think I am, look where I've been, unworthy one."

Only by the Grace of God did I lift my head up enough to hear God asking, "Are you done yet? Are you ready to get out of that mess you're wallowing around in?" I got myself to Bible study, the 1/2 hour drive was beautiful. Sometimes, I think God paints the sky just for me. While in Bible study I heard two good truths that I really needed to hear. First, " God lights the fire in us when we receive salvation and spiritual gifts. It's up to us to keep the fire burning." The other truth I heard was that, "true intimacy with God begins with humility. With out fail God will bring things about you, some/most maybe not so nice into the light to be dealt with before you enter new ministry. A fresh glimpse of yourself to bring deeper humility before you go deeper into your calling." I've known for a while God has been calling me to greater and deeper things. While He is trying to shine the light on areas that may need some dealing with, Satan is trying to cloud my vision by taking me back to revisit the old life full of the old lies.

I need to battle it with the truth that I know. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." And 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." These two verses are the very ones that broke the chains of anxiety and depression for good those many many years ago and His Word never returns void as long as I hang on to it and keep moving forward. By staying out of my head, there are no friends in there with answers. Only God has the answer. My hope and future lie in the truth of His promises, and yours?

Timing, Family, Christmas Part 2 of 3

Family

There are quite a few definitions of family. To complete my thoughts on the subject I chose the following definitions from Merriam Webster:1a: a group of persons of common ancestry : clan b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock :  race 2a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliations: fellowship. 

Growing up I considered my family to include just the members of my mom's side of the family. In my opinion we were a tight knit group. These members included, my grandparents, my four aunts, my mom, and sister, and a cousin. Two more cousins came much later in my life. Three of my aunts had husbands, two stayed and I was only close to one. There were further extended family members too, the great___ and the great great___, but for me these were it. I felt close to them. Anyhow, all of the members of my family were very special to me, weather or not they realized it. I have such great love and respect for them all even when they didn't or couldn't see it. Most every decision I ever made wasn't with out hearing at least one of them in my head. Weather or not that decision I made was right or wrong is a whole other story. At 44 there is still a huge part of me that desperately wants their approval. I want them all to be proud of me. I had some pretty rough years that gave them all cause for concern, but I have long since pulled through amazingly! 

Through the years and after I moved to Indiana, almost 25 years ago, the connection had been severed. I still make attempts to stay in contact, but only one aunt does the same in return. It wasn't until this past weekend that I came to the realization of my mom's last words to me when I left California,  "if you leave, you can never come back." Since then I've only been back to visit maybe 5 or 6 times, if that. I knew I could never live with my mom again, and I was fine with that. But to never come back,  just really hit me.

 My family moved on with out me. I'm not a part of their lives. What I do in my life has little or no affect on them. They seem hardly aware of my existence unless I call, write, or on a very rare occasion or death of someone do I get to visit. I do have that one aunt who does her best to keep tabs on me. People change, as they should. They grow and move forward in life weather you're there to be a part of it or not. I know that is how it's supposed to be. Mostly, I miss what I thought my family was. My mom still lives in the same house I grew up in, but it too has changed. I miss the memories and ideas of what I thought I had. Even the little town I grew up in has changed. Going back can and will never be the same. It's true, you can never go back. Keep moving forward.

 I spent many years not believing I would stay in Indiana. It never felt like home. My ex had a huge family out here. They were all very close but I never felt my children or I ever quite fit in, I think my ex liked it that way. While the four of us were technically a family, it was really just my two children and I living hidden away, together but separate from the husband/father figure, in a house that wasn't much of a home. I no longer fit in California and I surely didn't fit in Indiana. I felt my children were my only family. Yet, all along there was another family I often took for granted, the family of God. I believe many have tried to be there. However, I've really struggled with letting them get too close. There have been some members I was just too messy for. 

This past weekend, I think God put things in a new perspective. As I type this lyrics to an old song came to mind, " if you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with." I have spent a long time looking back missing my family, regretting not being a part of their lives. But now at this point in my life, I have a new and amazing husband, 3 out of four of his girls are slowly accepting me, my son and daughter are having children of their own and I got to witness some pretty awesome reconnecting with my husband and his extended family. Then there is this new church family, I love them already and I know that love will grow on both sides as time goes on. It's time to say goodbye to my family in California,  go our separate ways, and be okay with it. It's not forever. I'll see them again. I'm just not a part of them. The family I thought I was going to have when I came to Indiana has fallen a part and rebuilt too. Now,I can and should freely embrace the family God has set before me. I am so blessed and thankful for the blessings!! I may have had to let go of a lot, but I've gained much more!!! 

I'm sure leaving your family and becoming a part of a new one is a big part of what that verse in the Bible is about. In fact, I just realized it's mentioned four times! If God said it once, it's important. If He had to say it more than once, you better listen. Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, and Ephesians 5:31 all speak of man leaving his family and joining with his spouse.  Then, they become one. I always knew of that verse in Genesis and I just figured it meant, they are one through the children they have together. If the marriage relationship on Earth is supposed to reflect the relationship we have with Christ, then always looking back wanting to fit into a family I'm far removed from isn't what God wants for me. There is the family of God, I need to look to embrace as well as the family unit He has restored to my life. He's given me not just a second chance at life but family too!! I have a hope and a future set in the family right here in front of me. Who's your family?

Is Your Glove Spirit Filled?

Are you struggling a lot lately with being content?  I am. Even had  a few mini pity parties crying out to God about my discontent and wishing my heart felt different. I also started and deleted a few blog posts venting about being discontent. 

Don't get me wrong, I have many blessings I am very thankful for, a long list, in fact! However, my heart struggles with being content. It's not about having things. It's more about being and doing more. More for the Lord and making an impact for the Kingdom of God. I feel have felt for most of my life I'm just lacking something most Christians who seem to have it together have. I don't know how to fill that empty space. Of course the "Christian" answer is God/Jesus. To that, in my humanness I say, "well duh." That's not exactly helpful.

So yesterday morning, I'm reading a devotional and what does it happen to be on? Being content. Isn't that just like God? In the devotional there was a statement that said, "People tend to think their circumstances determine their quality of life." It went on to remind me that it is possible to be content in any and all circumstances. How many times have I said that very thing to others? I do believe it to be true, but putting it into practice has been difficult lately. I'm either working one of my two jobs or sleeping during the week, same with my Amazing Man. On the weekend we love to go on some kind of mini driving "adventure" and attend church. It's all good, but there's still this part of me that wants more. More of God, but I've got all I'm going to get. (More about that later) I have learned that the key to being content is focusing more on God and enjoying His presence. But I just don't seem to be holding that key in my hand as much as I'd like.

I'm finding, that's where're my problem lies. Enjoying or experiencing God's presence. Not just enjoying the experience, but enjoying so much so that I can find contentment, even through the circumstances that surround me. There are times in my life when I have claimed Philippians 4:12 and felt, for me, it was true. However, now that I have seen and received many blessings, there are other circumstances that hinder me from enjoying them to the fullest. Mostly debt and not quite enough funds, even though we live on a tight budget. 

While I believe God will meet all of my needs, I find my self often questioning the things I desire for my life, "is it a need or a want?"

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 

19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:12&19)

I believe God does fulfill his promises even if they take, what to us humans, seem like forever. Look how long Israel had to wait to return to their land! While we wait on His promises, God vows to be with us and watch over us. If He's with us, we must be in His presence. 

15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”(Genesis 28:15)

Last Sunday the pastor of the church I attend gave an illustration of of the Holy Spirit in us. He placed a closed hand inside of a glove and asked, "Can the glove get anymore of the hand in it?" The answer clearly was no, the whole hand is in there, the glove can't get more of the hand. Although, the hand can get more of the glove by opening up the fingers and stretching them out. We received all of the Holy Spirit we're going to receive when we were saved, just as the whole hand was in the glove, it didn't fill the glove. However, just like the hand,the Holy Spirit can and should get more of us. The Holy Spirit should fill all of us. As I've been chewing on this thought for almost a week now, I've come to realize, it isn't I who am missing out on more of God, it is God who is missing more of me. 

There are plenty of verses in the Bible that speak of God's presence and how He is with us. Verses like Isaiah 41:10, "10 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We're reminded that we can't be separated from Him. "38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

So, if He is in us, how do we experience more of His presence? How do we/I receive the guidance, I'm seeking. I've been questioning this for weeks now. The other day, with out telling my husband these heavy thoughts on my heart and the devotional I just read, he proceeds to tell me how in this life, we're just going to have to work hard. True, or not, that's not what I want to hear. Then, later that morning I hear one co-worker say to another, "I hate my life, and roll her eyes." The other co-worker says, "we all do, except maybe Dee Dee." I'm glad people see that in me, but I'm sad I struggle with being discontent. It saddens me more thinking there are many people who feel the same way my co-workers do. Maybe that could have been a time I could witness, but I was too caught up in my own discontent and guilt of giving over to it so wholeheartedly.

Later at lunch, that same day, a student of mine ( I'm a teaching assistant in a special Ed. life skills class) gets upset about not being allowed to have the chips he wanted at lunch (it didn't go with the entrée he picked and he couldn't put back what he picked, because he already touched it). They were there, right in front of him, he almost grabbed them, it's what he wanted, but the lunch lady said he couldn't have them. He cried and cried big heaving sobs. Then, all of the sudden, he wipes his face off, looks up, and says, " it's a beautiful day." He smiled and laughed and started drinking his chocolate milk, just as content as can be. How quickly your perspective  can change your whole attitude! 

I don't know what it looks like yet, or how to walk it all out, but I know I need a change of perspective, maybe even a change of environment (career), in order to better seek and or experience God's presence. If I could experience more of His presence, my direction and contentment should become more clear and evident. In order to feel more of Him in me, I need to give more of me over to Him. I can't let my discontent in this life hinder my witnesses to others. It's all a work in progress! Even if I don't understand it all now.

 Do you have a spirit filled glove? Have you given God permission to stretch further into the fingers of your glove?

Be Prepared to Suffer for Me!

I opened my morning devotional this morning and read, "BE PREPARED TO SUFFER FOR ME." That is NOT what I wanted to read today!! I almost stopped there and closed the book. But God... He uses all things, right? So where was he going to take this? 

The accompanying scripture verses included James 1:2-4,"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I really wanted to just roll my eyes at it. The following verses from Psalm 107:21-22 also accompanied this devotional I reluctantly read, "Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

Upon reading the last verses I have to admit, the Lord has done some pretty cool things in my life lately. However, when thinking of facing the "trials of many kinds"...  in the middle of the great blessings I've had over the past almost two years, I've also had some pretty big trials and the Lord pulled me right through it. Ya know what, though?  Often, it's the accumulation of small trials that trip me up; that get me headed into a downward spiral. Ya know, that day to day irritation, and first world issues like, " I hate my hair, it's too thin, can't do anything with it, I've gained too much weight, ugh, I'm so ugly, why even bother trying to make myself presentable today!" (Oh, I sound like such a girl!) Or even worse, "why can't I just get myself together, I have these things I have wanted to get done for some time, but just keep putting it off, now it's too late." "How or why would God want to use a person like me who is so not put together and polished?! I keep asking for more of Him in my life, but I'm not even worth it. Besides He'd just ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and that's too scary." All of the above quotes are a very small snapshot of what has run through my head on more than one occasion. Pretty shallow in comparison to serious trials people face. Yet, if I dwell on any one of these thoughts it will lead me to wallow around in my bad self image, lack of confidence, and value I set on myself, which can in turn feed into the underlying current of depression I've battled off and on since a young teen or pre-teen. I'm not saying that's all it takes to get me down, often I can and do shake off those silly attacks from Satan, but there are times when I'm not in the best place and can get thrown off balance.

Today in America from time to time the average person will face trials that we'll be pretty big to us, even life altering: financial hardships, family squabbles, a death, abuse, addictions, mental illness/spiritual attack, and many other types of trials. God can and will, like I mentioned in my last post, bring you through it, take it from you, or take you "home ." Knowing He will stay faithful to us and be with us every step of the way, we should be thankful. Don't give into the depression that often sneaks in with the trials, paralyses you, and keeps you from moving forward. Don't get tripped up in the daily irritations, bombardments, and thoughts Satan pushes you down with. 

While reflecting on the trials I face, the truly hard ones and the silly ones,  I realized I haven't really had to "suffer for the Lord". There were times I felt I was suffering, but it wasn't really for the Lord, it was for me. I was learning and growing during that time. I was maturing. God was using that time to mild me into who I am today. Although,  there are people today who truly are suffering for THE LORD!

 Recently the account of a Syrian mass murder of Christians told of how none of those tortured and murdered pleaded for their lives. In fact, it was said, "One of the women looked up and seemed to be almost smiling as she said, ‘Jesus!'” Isn't there joy behind most smiles? There definitely is suffering when someone is captured, lined up, and prepared for mass murder! Yet, there in that moment a woman counted it joy, in her suffering, she knew she was about to see the face of Christ. She was confident in whom she served. Christians, we need to be sure that we know whom we serve and have joy in knowing that when our trials are on earth are done, we'll be complete and see the face of Jesus! 

It is Jesus whom our hope and future rest in. He has a plan for us. Even if we're made to suffer through our circumstances caused by our own choices or by the actions of others He will use it all for His glory. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) All is all and it's important to keep in mind that trials will come and as our world continues to change, not always for the best, we need stay faithful to the one who has called us to consider it pure joy. We need to stay faithful in the life altering trials as well as first world issues.  When we do this Satan can't get a foothold and pull us down. It's too easy to give into the stress, anxiety, and depression caused by the trials of life. It is important to stay in the practice of holding on to that joy and looking to be content. 

When the trials of life come, how great would it be to truthfully say the words in Philippians 4;11," I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." ? Is your suffering for Him, or is it selfishly in vain for yourself? More than anything, I want every aspect of my life to reflect the Joy of the Lord, and be content in suffering for Him!

22 Let them sacrifice thank offering

Walking in the Light of His Presence

15 Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,
    who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
16 They rejoice in your name all day long;
    they celebrate your righteousness.

Psalm 89:15-16

8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16:8

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

2 Peter 1:2

The word acclaim in Psalm 89 means to praise enthusiastically and publicly. To rejoice is to feel or show great delight. As Christians, do we do that very often? I have to admit I haven't always been all that enthusiastic or full of joy while speaking on the things of the Lord. 

Oh, I'm thankful and give Him the praise and glory for my multiple blessings. I even tell others about the wonderful things the Lord has done in my life. But, am I lacking passion or fire while giving testimony of His love and faithfulness towards me?  There's no doubt I am thankful for His provisions, but is it enough to be just thankful? Am I crossing that fine line to being "lukewarm"? ("So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelations 3:6)

While I'm doing my best at keeping my eyes on the Lord and reaching out to Him to keep from being shaken off my foundation, am I letting the distractions in life cause me to turn away and look somewhere else, allowing  me to loose my balance? 

I desire grace and peace and all the blessings Jesus wants to hand me.  They may be free, but if I am not continually seeking out knowledge of Him, and his presence, how can I receive what He has for me? Especially if I'm too distracted by all that is going on in the world.

God very much wants a relationship with us. That's why we were created. We're all created with a longing, a desire, a hole in our heart that only He can fill. Often we look to too many people and things to fill that hole to give us peace and contentment. If we would just realize, it isn't people and things that that will bring us peace and contentment, it's the presence of Lord. We need to always be seeking and inviting His presence into every aspect of our lives. 

When we live in His presence we will be able to be more aware of the things of God and less of the things of man. At the same time our attentiveness  to the needs of others and  our ability to love and encourage will grow. I believe we are to be in the world, but not necessarily par takers of ALL it has to offer. Through God's presence and peace, our out word behavior will enable us to not be shaken when problems arise and set an example to those still trying to fill that empty hole in their hearts. We never know who is watching us. People who are watching may be our children who need a godly example to follow when problems come. It may be a coworker or fellow church member suffering in their own private turmoil. There's watching us could very well be nonbelievers just waiting to see us slip up. When you live your life out in the presence of the Lord, people take notice.

When we completely follow this path set before us, to seek and invite His presence, get a glimpse of the hope and future HE has for our lives, shouldn't we get excited and rejoice when HE shows up? Even in public? 

Mixed up, Not in the Right Place

Ever feel all mixed up, not in the right place, or that something just doesn't seem to fit quite right?

For some people it's just a bad or an off day. For others, they are completely outta whack. For me, it's been an off and on feeling for most of my life. I've often felt out of place, or that I don't have it all quite together, and sometimes I feel like there must be something seriously wrong with me.

 I believe anyone, including me can have this feeling about any area, or even all areas of life at one time or another. I suppose there are many reasons a person may feel this way. It may be that you believe the lies or harsh criticism spoken over you in your life by others you looked up to,  the influence you've allowed others to have over your life, or even poor decisions you made or that were made for you. If you've already surrendered your life to Christ, you may be living in a manor that goes against what He expects of you, and not following HIS lead, or just plain ol' living in a way that doesn't reflect your true self. All of these things, and I'm sure much more, can cause a person to feel out of place, mixed up, or just not fitting in. 

The feeling of not being good enough or the thought, " if someone really knew me, they wouldn't like me much" has plagued me for quite some time. Ya  know what that really is? Fear! As my husband says, False Evidence Appearing Real. It's very hard not to give into it. Satan is a sly one and his evidence is quite impressive at times. But it is important to always remember, 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." If God didn't give us the spirit of fear, you know it came from the Devil himself, don't accept it! We have power over him and the love of God in us and a sound mind to think clearly and make wise and educated decisions. 

About a year and a half ago on our way home from out honeymoon, Tim and I stopped to attend church and someone we actually knew was there, how random! ( not really, in God's world) anyhow this person was a worship leader in another church and he too happened to be passing through. While we were there he asked to pray over us. Now I had never met him and it had been a while since Tim had seen him, so this friend didn't know too much if anything about me at s. Yet, he prayed a prayer of boldness over me. To me that was a very scary and dangerous prayer for him to pray over me. Now, I've had many people pray over me in my life time, but this was the only prayer that I actually remember all of. Others, I just remembered that this person or that prayed for me, rarely do I remember the content or  context the way this prayer keeps coming back. BOLDNESS, me bold for the cause of Christ? I'm unworthy and too mixed up to do so. At least that's the lie I believe. 

Now, I'm actually to the point where I have a desire to be bold but not much of an outlet to do so. However, I fear if I was presented with an outlet other than a blog, or some online social media I could hide behind, I'd probably panic and choke, or at the very least, drag my feet about it. There it is, living with out following HIS lead. Being afraid of of failure or not being good enough, or not really having a calling. Prayers will be hindered and complete peace withheld if I continue to resist His will out of fear. 

14 Consider the flowing verse, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

God created us the way we are for a reason. We aren't called to fit in or be like other people, because He didn't make us like other people.  I believe the word fearfully in this verse is used the same way as when the Bible speaks of the fear of the Lord, meaning to have reverence or respect for God. In that case we should appreciate  the life given to us. He doesn't just create us for no reason and leave us here. He knows our life circumstances and our needs. Matthew 6:25-34 reminds us that He is aware of our physical needs, He does care about us, and will provide us with what we need.  So we do need to be thankful instead of afraid of life. In the same verse, the word ‘wonderfully’ may be defined as unique. We're made unique, special and with a purpose and a plan. Ephesians 2:10 says,"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." We're all different and have different gifts as stated in 1 Corinthians 12. The desires and the way you please God will be unique to you. We don't have to worry about fitting in or doing something like everyone else. We or more to the point, I don't have to worry about what others think to, I only need to live the way God intended  me to. That means following  His Word and trusting Him to lead.

So there is nothing to fear, no place to try to fit in and nothing wrong with me. God knows my physical and emotional needs. He has put me where He wants me, All I have to do is follow His lead. 

So when I'm called out of my box and to stretch a little more I need to keep this in mind. My hope and future rests in HIM not fear, where's yours?