Remember Whose Child You Are

Remember Whose Child You Are

I don't know when the idea came to me but I do remember the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that lead to it. I was in my previous marriage  at the time and my husband was heavy into drugs and alcohol often raging about something, real or made up.  I was doing my best in the circumstances I lived in to raise my children for the Lord. I knew I had made mistakes and would make more in my endeavor to try an shield my kids from the ugliness of some of the things in their world. 

At a young age I tried to get them to understand that there will be times I fail them or wouldn't always be there for them. There might even be times they were afraid and I wouldn't be able to be there to protect them. But there was a God, a Father in heaven who would always be there and who loved them more than I ever could. He went wherever they went and was aware of everything they did. I told them that before they were my children, they were the Lord's. And that's where the phrase came from, "remember who's child you are." 

As my children grew older, I knew they would not always be around me. They would gain more independence,  have friends of their own to go off with, and I wasn't going to be there to influence or correct their actions. So each time they left the house out into the world with out me, besides saying, I love you, I would tell them, "remember whose child you are." It was later followed up with a reminder, "You're a child of a King and you should act accordingly." I wanted them to always be aware of their actions and know that I'm not the only one who holds them accountable. I could only hold them accountable for what I knew about, but God sees all and they would one day answer to Him for their actions good or bad.

Therapists and doctors today will tell a person that the poor choices they make are due to the mistakes their parents made while raising them. It takes the blame off the one making poor choices, gives them an excuse, and frees them from accountability. There comes a point in everyone's life, or at least it should, when you know right from wrong. If you know right from wrong, you're  able to decide for yourself which you'll choose. 

 Like I mentioned in my first blog post, in my late teens I faced some major depression and anxiety; accompanied by alcohol and  other means of self destruction. Of course I had an excuse for it. I was living in a home that was often out of control, that, and I was a teenager. Was I aware of God in my life? Yes. Did I lean on Him in times of trouble and when I had feelings of desperation? Not as I should have. Did I drink and sleep with guys in order to drown out the pain and confusion, to find self worth and experience love and acceptance? Yes. Could I have brought all of my hurt, shame, and anger to the Lord? Would He have comforted me? Did He send people in my life to influence and guide me? Yes, yes, yes to it all!!! It's all a spiritual battle we can chose to fight or give in to, yet rarely do people see it that way. I didn't act that way and give into the depression, anxiety, and all that other stuff because of the way I was raised or the things I experienced in life. It was because I failed to recognize the spiritual battle and listened to the lies of the devil. Having this knowledge hasn't left me anxiety free and with out any bouts of depression, I am still human living in a broken world. However, when I take it to the Lord, who's very name covers and protects me, I gain freedom from it!

God is, Jehovah Shammah, the Lord who is there. He is Jehovah Jireh, The One Who Provides.  Jehovah Shalom, the Lord of Peace, and He is El Elyon, The Most High God. If He is my Heavenly Father then I am the daughter of a King!  In my poor choice to turn from Him, the most high God, who is always there, provides a way out, and offers peace, I looked to the world, and what it had to offer instead. My choices damaged family relationships and further damaged my self esteem. It wasn't my upbringing, it was how I chose to deal with my upbringing.

 My teenage and early adult years, a time of life I don't talk too much about, I'm not at all proud of it, as it shows me in an ugly light. However, God always saw me as beautiful. A beautiful mess perhaps, but beautiful. The way I dealt with my life just brought me more guilt and shame. I had aunts boldly, sometimes harshly, pointing out my sin, it made me pile on even more guilt. I held on to it instead of giving it to the one who had already redeemed it.  Instead of facing it, I let it eat at me. Sometimes I would try to turn to the Lord in my own power, but I never made the full commitment to give over everything, all of my ugliness.

 It wasn't until then, when I completely gave it all to Him did I begin to find peace. When you live in fear of being found out that you're a big fake, you're not the perfect person you're trying to be...When you live in fear that nobody will love you the way you are, or that you'll never fit in, or have  fear of anything, you won't have peace. The opposite of peace is fear. When we hold on to fear we can't have peace. Through Jehovah Shalom we can live in peace, or freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. Through that peace we can live as the child of The most High King, just as we're called to be.

I have had an idea for quite a while about blogging on the idea of being the daughter or a child of the King, but I wasn't sure from what perspective to take it from. It wasn't until after listening to a speaker at Saturday's Morning Tea for the ladies at church, sharing a piece of my testimony with another woman there, and dealing with some family issues that echoed the very loudly the need for everyone to keep in mind that they are a child of The Most High and we should act accordingly.

As much as I had always told my children through out their lives to remember who's child they were, I hadn't turned it around to myself. I didn't really start doing that until almost three years ago when someone handed me a book they thought I should read called, His Princess by Sheri Rose Shepherd. The point in wanting my children to remember who's child they were wasn't just because I wanted them to take responsibility for their actions but to know they were special and loved, not just by me, but a king! This book is written as a collection of letters from The King to us his Princess. Apparently it was something I needed to read.

We are children of the Most High King and we should act accordingly. What does that look like? It's funny that the speaker Saturday discussed the very idea of being a child of God. She used an illustration that pricked my heart a bit, because I couldn't relate to it. She described what it was like to be a little girl holding on to her daddy's strong hand, and while her hand was in his she felt safe and strong and that she could do anything. She related that feeling to what it is like to return and trust in the Lord. I have absolutely no idea what that is like. I never had a touch from my earthly father that felt safe. Although I longed for that very feeling, to put my hand in a big, strong, encouraging hand, that steadies my steps. Not having that left a hole in my heart that I tried to fill with so many worldly and self destructive things, everything but God. The one who had been holding out His hand all along. All I had to do is reach out and take it. When I finally did, He lifted me up, set me straight, and as long as I hold on He keeps me steady. 

18 “I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,

Says the LordAlmighty.”( 2 Corinthians 6:18)

Being a child of The King means to walk in faith. With faith, you can't have doubt. There's no doubt which way to go in life if you trust Him enough to follow Him. Isaiah 48:17 reminds us to listen He will tell us which way to go. "Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer,The Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you by the way you should go." And, "For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught." (Proverbs 3:26) Life is going to be hard, in our humanness we will make mistakes but those mistakes are what we do, not who we are. He will keep us from being caught or unable to escape. Keep moving in the direction He calls you.

Your crown may be a little beat up, tarnished, and it may be missing a few jewels, but your title of Prince or Princess of The Most High can never be taken away. Walk in the position you hold, with your mangled crown on your head, looking forward to Him, and keep going! My hope and future are in Jehovah Shammah, the Lord who is there; Jehovah Jireh, The One Who Provides; Jehovah Shalom, the Lord of Peace, and in El Elyon, The Most High God, My Heavenly Father. 

Remember Whose Child You Are.

**

Jehovah Shalom- the Lord is Peace Judges 6:24

Jehovah Shammah-The Lord is there Ezekiel 48:35

Jehovah Jireh- The Lord Will Provide Genesis 22:14

Elyon- The Most High God 

Genesis 14:18

All Things are Lawful for Me, but All Things are Not Helpful

Oh the little things that make you think big! After typing this blog post, my 50th one, I kinda wonder who ever reads what I post, if it matters, and if it gets people thinking. All I can see is that people read it and where they are from, but I don't know the names or if it makes a difference or even gets anyone thinking like I hope my blogs do. Although, if it gets to just one person, I suppose it's worth it. 

As some know, I work in a primary life skills classroom for children with special needs. In the past 15 years working in public schools and at special needs summer camps, I have worked with children and young adults who have minor to major learning and physical disabilities. I've worked with those who have Autism, Down's Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy,  Fragile X, Myotonic Dystrophy, Muscular Dystrophy, Williams Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and many more.

 I have such a soft spot in my heart for children with special needs. As a child I struggled with learning and was put into special education classes up through Jr. High, not much was offered in High School. So I have compassion when it comes to children struggling to learn. However, the young people I work with more often than not, have greater challenges than I ever had. While they all have their own unique physical and or mental abilities, and some may come from broken homes or difficult lifestyles, they are all so precious. 

True, there are days I'm so physically and emotionally worn out after dealing with attitudes and strong wills, temper tantrums, fits of anger, accompanied by objects thrown at me, multiple "Code Browns", AKA messy diapers, and just the constant noise...Still, I don't loose sight of the fact that they are God's first. When they learn something for the first time or take my hand and randomly say, "I love you", or when I watch them explore things for the first time and get a glimpse of the world through their eyes it makes it all worth it. Matthew 25:40 says, "And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’" Sadly it doesn't pay the bills.

Now I hear that schools used to have prayer in them. When I was in school it didn't happen much, however if you felt the need to do so, nobody condemned you for it either. I also have heard that The Pledge of Allegiance is being taken out of schools. I personally haven't seen that happen at any schools I have worked. I have however, witnessed as students move up in higher grades, the lack of respect and understanding for the pledge, the flag, and our country in general, even respect for a Creator God, has greatly decreased. Although, the school I currently work at has a 30 second moment of silence every day. I take that time to pray over our day. That quick 30 seconds is followed by the pledge. A couple of days ago, I was looking at the faces of the students as one yelled the pledge, another mumbled or babbled as that's about the only way she speaks, another one misses a few words and adds others, but they all looked in the general  direction of the flag with a right or left hand somewhere on or near their chest or belly and recite or acknowledge the flag in their own way. 

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks! People don't realize how blessed they are to live in the USA!! In other countries children like these precious trying, ones I work with, wouldn't be allowed to live. Their lives wouldn't be as cherished by the community as my students are.  If they were able to live they would not be attending school. They might be sheltered and or hidden away, and maybe not given the medical treatment needed.  This line of thinking led me to the think about how many people take for granted, the blessings right in front of them. Too many people are not satisfied with what they have.  They wanted to be handed more, feel they deserve more, all because some sort of disability or lack of certain ability, or even minority status. Not that every one with a disability or children with a disability or even minorities in the U.S. all think like that, but there is a growing number who do. 

In fact there are becoming a greater number of people in our country, in this world who feel entitled to gain something just because they feel they deserve it, nothing more. There is such a high number of people who continue to add labels to themselves or children to gain monetary support, health care, and other benefits or special treatment. 

The priorities and ideals our country once held in high esteem are being eroded away by selfishness, laziness, feelings of entitlement, and failure to acknowledging The God our country was founded on, whether  those who rewrite history want to admit it or not. Our country as a whole, not every individual person, is so focused on their little corner of the world. They don't seem to see past the community they live in, or the needs and desires they feel are more important than others. People don't often think bigger. Bigger than their, home, town, city, state, hardly bigger than their country. There is more to this world than The USA. We're a country, part of a global community. 

Yet, we as a society don't seem too concerned or pay much attention to what goes on in the rest of the global community. We think that none of the issues of the world affect us. So we go on not paying attention to what's going on around us, cry about some made up entitlement we're not receiving.  While others in the world we ignore are literally dying to drink clean water, have enough daily food to sustain them, attend school, and even worship the very same God our country was founded on, but is now trying to kick out. 

Our country was supposed to be a beacon of light, a place of hope, an example to the world. A good example. We may still have more freedoms than many other countries and be just about the richest country in the world, but we are spoiled and self centered. 

It is true that the Declaration of Independence states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." However, this statement isn't a license to be selfish, choose to be ignorant, or think you're more deserving than others. 

Unalienable means, unable to be taken away from or given away by the possessor. Who is the possessor mentioned in the Declaration of Independence? "Their Creator".  If you ask the average American whether  they are religious or not, most would understand "their Creator" (note spelled with a capital C) refers to God with a capital G meaning, the one true God. So it is understood, God, whom our country is founded on, gave the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.   

Liberty is the freedom from external foreign rule. There was a reason why people sought out a new land, the rulers of their time and country were oppressive and took away many of the basic necessities they felt they needed to live a full and productive life. Whether current historians want to recognize it or not, worshiping God, the way they felt He was leading them, was one of the major pushes in finding new land. 

Happiness, as most anyone understands, according to an online dictionary, means: good fortune, pleasure, contentment, or joy. Notice in the Declaration of Independence it says, "the pursuit of happiness." It doesn't say that we are guaranteed or owed good fortune, pleasure, or joy, but we are free to peruse it. When thinking about that one freedom given to us by God, it reminds me of the quote, "... For to whom much is given, from him much will be required;..." It's not just a great quote from the Spider-Man comic or movie, it is from God himself in Luke 12:48. Our country has great freedoms but what they choose to do with them, isn't necessarily wise. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says, "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any..." Just because we are able to use our freedom, it's how we choose to use them and what we use them for that matters.

As a country I think we have corrupted our freedom and made poor choices. It's time to turn back to God. I think we are so far away from what our Founding Fathers intended for us. Those who consider themselves a Christian, need to take a greater stand for our country before it is lost.  I think we are extremely far from what God would like to see in us. He never required much of us as Christians. "and if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayers made in this place." (2 Chronicles 7:14-15)

Those who don't consider themselves Christians need a true example of what it means to live for the Lord and not forsake Him. We have warnings about turning from the Lord, and I think we're on the edge of great danger. 2 Chronicles 7:19:20 says, “But if you turn away and forsake My statutes and My commandments which I have set before you, and go and serve other gods, and worship them, then I will uproot them from My land which I have given them; and this house which I have sanctified for My name I will cast out of My sight, and will make it a proverb and a by word among all peoples." Do we want to be a proverb among all people? A proverb about a country richly blessed and as an example to the world, lost it all because we turned from the original purpose and plan for our life and country?

As Christians, we hold a high calling, I think most are failing to see. “For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. (Deuteronomy 7:6) Are we conducting ourselves worthy of being called God's treasure? Once we accept God's gift of salvation through Jesus we are considered a chosen people.  He chose to give freely and we chose to accept. Proclaim what He has done and wants to do in the lives of others. "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 1 Peter 2:9

While I desire Christians to make a stand and for our country to turn back to the Lord, I fear we've already gone too far and God is just going to give our nation over to itself. God did warn against such things.

"So will I choose their delusions, And bring their fears on them; Because, when I called, no one answered,

When I spoke they did not hear; But they did evil before My eyes,
And chose that in which I do not delight.” (Isaiah 66:4) "For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be." (Matthew 24:21) 

I know I risk sounding like one of those people holding up a sign saying, "REPENT THE END IS NEAR!" It's not the first time I've been a little on that edge. Although, sometimes I feel a desperate desire to scream just that. Looking at the world as it is going now and looking to scripture, it's hard not too. 1Timothy 3:1-7 Sounds just like today: "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." However there is some redemption in vs 14-15, "But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. 

Many in our country seem to have or practice a "form of godliness, but denying its power..." They are fooled into thinking, because they are "good" and do "good" things they are Christians bound for heaven. They fail to see it's more than that. It's learning how to have and keep fellowship with the Lord, walking in His ways, not our own. It's grabbing hold of the truth in God's power that comes with salvation to everyone who believes, as spoken about Romans.  

Weak Christians can't be good witnesses to unbelievers and set the example we should be setting. Instead in our weakness we risk leading them astray or turning people away. Our lives, country, and world may seem out of control. That's when we should be careful to look to the ONE who holds our future in HIS hands and point others to the One who gives us HOPE. My hope and future rest in the one true God, Father, Creator, Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Savior of the world. Where is yours when you see the uncertainty in our world?

Spring Forth

10 Life's been a bit of a struggle lately. It's amazing how finances can put such a strain on a person and on relationships. My husband works so hard for us both. He works at two jobs, neither are his calling or what he wants to be doing. He's an ordained minister and he works in a restaurant and is a trainer in a factory.  Be that as it may, it puts money in the bank. One job is slightly more demanding, physically, while the other requires a little more mental stamina. Both keep him on his feet the whole time.

While at one time I have worked at three jobs, mentally and physically they completely wore me out! Currently I'm just working at my one job. Being a special education teaching assistant in a primary life skills classroom is something I've done for many years, I love it! Yet, recently I feel, all of the years have taken a toll on me mentally and physically. The average turnover rate for such a position is about 5 years. I've lasted 15, not all in the same school, though. Taking a huge pay cut almost two years ago when I changed school districts, makes the job a little harder to enjoy. On top of that, if there is a snow day, two hour delay, or some sort of break, I don't get paid. With student loans, car payments and other unforeseen debt we have acquired, along with daily living expenses my job isn't helping much.  Which puts further mental strain on my husband and I both.

 I've come to the realization that to keep with the current theme of my life, it's time for a new change. A career change. Who knew getting your foot in the door to some place new in a new town would be so difficult? Adding more stress and strain to a relationship. Now, we know neither God nor Satan caused this situation we find ourselves in to happen. It's just part of life in this broken world we live in. That doesn't mean that Satan won't get in there and start whispering lies. Trying to get me to believe that " I'm not good enough or worthy enough to find a better job." Or telling my husband that "I'm lazy and I'll never get a job and he'll have to be doing all the work to provide for us. All the bills and all the pressures will always be on him." It is Satan's goal to destroy families to destroy relationships. If he can get you to believe lies that your spouse is not going to contribute, work together in supporting each other, and care about you, It can really drive a wedged between two people. When this happens, people will either lash out at each other or withdraw for fear of hurting the other. Neither action is good for a relationship. It's important not to let Satan have that foothold. 

My marriage may not be perfect, but in my eyes I think it's pretty darn close. Here's a glimpse into my day today and how my Amazing Man shows his love and how he cares for me: My morning had already started off pretty bad. I had nothing to wear all my clothes (not that I have a lot, compared to most) are either dirty or I've gained too much weight to wear them. I was too tired at three in the morning to take my dog out when she was whining about it. Like a horrible mom to my little Roxy I made her wait until after I took a shower. I forgot about her wanting out at 3 until she was whining at the bathroom door. The poor dog, she didn't make it, and peed right outside the bathroom door. After dragging out the carpet cleaner, wearing my uncomfortable clothes and cleaning up the dog mess, I proceed to the kitchen where there's NO COFFEE, nothing to make breakfast, and nothing to make for lunch. We hadn't gone to the store in a while. This day just isn't looking great at all! 

I go to my room where my husband is still laying. I lay beside him and began to complain about my rough morning. He quietly listens while I lay beside him ranting, and then he gently remind sme it's time to get moving, we have to go to work. We get into the car and make our way towards my work he makes a little detour and I'm sitting there in all my grouchiness, wondering what he's doing. I'm going to be late. My Amazing man pulls into The closest Circle K, goes right in and buys me some coffee, breakfast, and something for lunch. Who's heart isn't going to melt at that?  He presented to me and said, you gotta have your coffee to face today and something to eat.  

We arrive at the school as the busses are lining up. I kiss my man good bye, feeling blessed as he leaves. I take two steps and drop my coffee on the ground. Like a water balloon, the cup bursts open and coffee is splashed across the sidewalk. I stood there just like a child looking back to see my husband driving away and I began stomping my foot and letting out a loud groan of frustration.  A near by bus driver sees me and says, "you didn't want that coffee anyway." I'm pretty sure I gave her the evil eye. Isn't that how life is? It's the accumulation of the little things that trip you up and cause you to do, say, and think things that aren't always of good character. So I ended up texting my husband to complain more, " I DROPPED IT ". Ya  know what? He made a special trip and brought me more. 

Now you know my Amazing Man works two jobs. However, today he got up a little bit earlier because we're down to one car for now, and he wanted to have time to go do laundry before he went to his first job. After finishing laundry and going to his first job at a restaurant he did the grocery shopping! At the end of my day, 

My day continued to go on just as it started, little irritations and minor conflicts kept parading themselves throughout my day. All the while my mind battled between focusing on our current financial situation and trying to give it up to the Lord and Ficus on Him, and to do my job as if I were doing it for Him. At least I have a job. It seemed like the day was a constant spiritual battle. 

Tim picked me up at work and I didn't really want to continue to complain more about my day, but man! So as we make our way to his second job he listened to me vent. Before I left him at his job, he suggested that I don't go straight home, I should stop at the park and hang out by the river and have some time with the Lord. He also suggested I should have the women at my Bible study pray over me tonight. I didn't want to do either, but what would it hurt? 

As I absorb the warm sun reflecting off the water, I close my eyes, exhale and just give it all to the Lord. It was there I noticed all the signs of spring, a new season was finally here. It was there I was led to the following verses:

Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed.
11 Truth shall spring out of the earth,
And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12 Yes, the Lord will give what is good;
And our land will yield its increase.

Psalm 85:10-12

Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall springforth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:19

For as the earth brings forth its bud, As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth, So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

Isaiah 61:11 

God is doing a work, my current situation is just a season in life. He is making a way and soon our situation will change like winter changes to spring. Peace washed over me as He whispered these truths to my heart. He is about to do great things. I stayed a while to enjoy the view and take a couple pictures.

At Bible study I gained the courage to ask for prayer. I've never done that before, especially from a group of people. I haven't really ever had friends who would just pray for or with me, here I had a group of women who lent a hand and prayed powerful prayers over me. I don't know if they felt it or not. But I felt the presence of the Lord in a way I never have before. I can't really even put into words what I felt. It was physical, emotional, and I suppose spiritual feeling all at the same time. I wanted to hold on to that feeling as long as I could. I replayed the the prayers of the women in my head as well as the time at the park on the drive home. 

God is making things new again. They will spring forth and all will be for His glory and righteousness. Like struggling through winter and knowing with out a doubt spring and all its beauty is sure to come, so is my life right now. 

Thank you Lord for planting the seeds of hope in my heart today, help me not to forget to take the time to watch  and see what springs forth.

My hope and future will always rest in the promises of the Lord and the knowledge that situations in life are just like seasons, I will take time to look for the righteous in each one. 

Where is your hope and future today?

Does it Mean Anything to You?

Have you ever considered what the Cross of Christ means to you personally? I've often thought about it, but up until this blog post, I haven't thought about it this deep. Recently encouraged, after reading another blog post about what the cross meant to the author, to write my own. I was going to have it posted by Good Friday'. That came and went, then by Easter Sunday. Today is Monday. I really struggled putting thoughts and ideas into words.

Of course the cross means something, it's the basic foundation of Christianity. You can't have the Resurrection with out the cross. With out the Resurrection you don't have Christianity. I kept thinking of the cross itself, the image. You can see crosses on the tops of cathedrals and churches, and worn around the necks of many people. There are also many Bible verses pointing out references to the Cross. How does it all relate to me, to you personally? Does it relate personally?

1 Corinthians 1:18 says, " For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." So what's the message of the cross? How does it lead to salvation? In order to be saved you first need to understand what it means to be saved and know you have the need to be saved. It's not just being saved from something but for something. Saved for a life set apart beyond this world. 

Recognizing the need for salvation doesn't start at the cross, it ends at the cross. It starts in the Garden of Eden where that first sin was planted, took root, and began to entangle itself throughout the world, for generations. Sin causes separation from God our creator, death of the body, and death of the spirit. This truth grieved the Lord so much He made a way to escape death! Through blood sacrifice us modern day "civilized" humans find hard to grasp; which led to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. 

 Understand that the cross represents  death! Our death in exchange for the death of the Savior, Jesus Christ's. He died for us so that we can have eternal life.  The cross IS the central part of the gospel message: "For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures," (1Corinthians 15:3,4). With out belief in those scriptures, there would be no foundation for the Christian Faith and no crosses on top of cathedrals, and churches, or worn around necks. 

Today, in much of the world the cross is looked upon as a religious Christian symbol, most commonly seen with a bloody and tortured representation of Jesus still hanging there. Often we see crosses decorated with elaborate designs, or two unremarkable stripped down logs, one vertical and one horizontal. The true cross that Jesus endured, the one He once hung and died on; dying the most horrific way any man could think of dying, is unlike dying by the swift modern tactics of Capitol punishment used today. It was so brutal and awful, even though Jesus knew He would die, needed to die, in order to save mankind He prayed in Gethsemane an agonizing prayer for another way. He prayed to God, “If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39, NKJV) Jesus was fully man and fully God while on Earth. Knowing what He was about to face in his human body had to cause the most fear and anxiety ever. Have you ever been anxious and fearful? Jesus knows how you feel, and then some.

I think those who have been Christians for a long time loose sight of the reality the of the cross. It is lost on them because they have heard the story over and over. They are all too familiar with the awful details, coupled with the feeling of having a not too distant relationship with the Lord, the reality of the cross becomes a hazy idea or concept. I didn't realize it until I started researching and typing this out, how guilty of loosing clear sight of the cross I was.

Putting a side all the mental and physical torment Jesus endured hours before the long procession to Golgotha or Place Of The Skull, also known as Calvary, where He would be crucified the horrific ordeal should break the hearts and haunt the minds of anyone who knows the truth. So much so, it should not be forgotten or taken lightly. 

I've learned a lot by reading scientific studies and listening to sermons on the crucifixion. Once Jesus arrived at the spot he was to be hung He was  shoved backward landing with His shoulders against the wood. The Roman guard feels for just the right spot  on the front of the wrist.  A heavy, square, wrought-iron nail is then driven through the "right spot" in wrist and deep into the wood of the crossbeam. The same action is repeated on the other side. The soldier is careful not to pull the arms too tightly, to allow movement. The cross beam on which Jesus' wrists are nailed to is put in place on the top of vertical  beam. Then, the plaque with the Title, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of The Jews", is put in place. With knees flexed and toes pointed down, the left foot is pressed against the right foot onto the wooden beam, and another heavy, square, wrought-iron nail is driven through both arches and into the wood. As Jesus' body begins to droop down from the weight pulling on the nails in the wrists, excruciating pain surges violently through the nerves in his body and erupt in his brain.

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. More info a decade ago, reading Jim Bishop’s The Day Christ Died, I realized that I had for years taken the Crucifixion more or less for granted — that I had grown callous to its horror by a too easy familiarity with the grim details and a too distant friendship with our Lord. It finally occurred to me that, though a physician, I didn’t even know the actual immediate cause of death. The Gospel writers don’t help us much on this point, because crucifixion and scourging were so common during their lifetime that they apparently considered a detailed description unnecessary.So we have only the concise words of the Evangelists: “Pilate, having scourged Jesus, delivered Him to them to be crucified — and they crucified Him.”  I have no competence to discuss the infinite psychic and spiritual suffering of the Incarnate God atoning for the sins of fallen man. But it seemed to me that as a physician I might pursue the physiological and anatomical aspects of our Lord’s passion in some detail.Jesus quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through the wrist and deep into the wood. Quickly, he moves to the other side and repeats the action, being careful not to pull the arms to tightly, but to allow some flexion and movement. The patibulum is then lifted in place at the top of the stipes and the titulus reading, “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews,” is nailed in place. ***reading, “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews,” is nailed in place. 

Trying to find relief from this tournament Jesus pushes Himself up and puts all of His weight on the nail in his feet which leads to the same violent surge of torturous pain. Fatigue sets in along with muscle cramps and throbbing pain, Jesus is hardly able to adjust Himself. He's fighting for oxygen to gain temporary relief from the cramping. With out being able to lift His body up Jesus can only inhale. With out being able to exhale, carbon dioxide will build up  causing more cramping and throbbing, and ultimately lead to death by asphyxiation. 

It was during this struggle for air Jesus spoke his last words. Looking down to those casting lots for his garments he said,  “...Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do...”(Luke 23:34) Looking to the thief next to him who asked to be remembered when He came to His Kingdom Jesus said, "...Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43) You see, even a thief who was at the end of his life that was worthy of the cross was accepted into Paradise. He didn't have to do anything but believe in Jesus and accept what He was offering; one life for another, His. When looking down to His mother Mary, and one of the disciple He loved He said, "woman, behold your son!" (John 19:26) Remember, Jesus fully God, and fully man, while on Earth, was once a little boy too. He was loved and cared for by His mother. He was a son who cared for His mother and wanted her to be cared for after he was no longer on Earth. This is another detail that shows us how much Jesus is able to relate to and live humanity so much that He would die for us. 

Mark 15:34 says, "And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” This has probably got to be the worst part. Jesus had always had a close fellowship with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit. However, at this time Jesus had taken on all the hurts, pain, and the sin of the world. God can't look upon sin in all of its ugliness. It's the sin that separates us from God. Jesus took it all upon himself as well as the pain and anguish sin causes. This is the type of pain, worse than any physical pain can only be felt in Hell, where there is complete separation from God. Jesus did this so that we didn't have to, so He can identify with us, stand up for us, and be an advocate to the Father when no one else can, not even our selves. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." It is often extremely difficult for my human mind to wrap around this very truth. It's like God separated Himself from Himself, think about that... Now my silly self has had moments I was so disgusted with myself and my actions, I couldn't stand my self, I couldn't even look at my self in the mirror. That was just dealing with my own sin. Not the sin of the whole world, past, present, and future! How awful would it be to feel all the sin, shame, and ugliness of EVERYONE who ever lived or will live. And to think, He did it for me and you! 

Weak and feeling forsaken, I believe Jesus had a thirst for the Lord like never before, the type of thirst we should have. "After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I thirst!” (John 19:28) This was the fifth statement Jesus said as He was slowly giving into His physical death. The Roman soldiers gave him sour wine, and when He received it, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit. (John 19:30). Finally, as Jesus is about to give his seventh and final statement on Earth, He knows His mission is complete.  He could leave Hell and the broken Earth to be with the Father who would no longer require a payment or sacrifice for sin, Jesus voluntarily paid it all. "And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’”Having said this, He breathed His last."(Luke 23:46) 

1 Timothy 2:5-6 states, "For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time," Jesus is our mediator, always coming to the Father for us. We might not always feel the full weight of what Jesus did for us on the cross that day or completely understand while we are still inhabiting this earthly human body. However, I do believe our spirit fully understands.  "The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14, NKJV)

I might not have had a strong grasp in my little child mind when I decided to follow Jesus, but as I get older and put life experience behind me while facing new ones, I understand the great need for salvation. It's not just for one day, the day you "say the prayer". It is for every day. Jesus paid the price for my every day mistakes, (those who have followed my blog posts from the beginning know that I have made plenty) that would otherwise separate me from a perfect and loving God. My old (and new) mistakes or sin died on that cross with Jesus and I've been given a new life in Christ every day, IF I CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT. And that's not all, after the cross there is LIFE! Jesus arose from death and said, “...I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live."(John 11:25)

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV). 

The cross is making me knew every day. 

My hope and future are seen through what the cross has done, where is yours?

**"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness ...

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.."

~**From Hymn #370
The Lutheran Hymnal
Author: Edward Mote, c. 1834, cento
Composer: John Stainer, 1873, arr.

The Heat is On

6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ( 2 Timothy 1:6 NIV)

God has really been using the messages given by the pastor at my church, the current group Bible study I'm in, and of course my Amazing Man to speak incredible truth into my life. There aren't any new truths, as God said there is nothing new under the sun, but new layers of truth are revealed in order to see more clearly what God is pointing to. And I'm just now getting it. For a few weeks those old enemies, anxiety and depression have really been attacking me. 

However, after deciding not to give in and just continue to press into those places God is leading, whether I feel so anxious I'm going to die, or at the very least, pass out or not..I think I'm starting to hear and understand a little better when God is trying to get ahold of me. (By the way, I haven't died or passed out yet.) So I just take a week or so and write a blog and make the devil pay a toll by giving the glory back to God!

While I may have been saved at the young age of 11 years old, like you read in my first blog post, and believe I have had a relationship with the Lord all these 33 years, it's only been in the past year or so that I realized, I may have grown in the Lord, and have depended on Him for my existence, but that is all the relationship was. Depending on Him to exist and survive. Like a baby depends on their parents. They don't understand true love yet.  Babies just understand they have a need, they look to their parents to fulfill that need, and when it is fulfilled, they are content. They are growing and feel fulfilled but it takes time to mature.

 I think for so long I have stayed in that child stage. Not really mature or as mature as I should or could be. I just knew, as I said in my first blog post, "I had a need not to be alone, feel rejected, or abandoned. I had a need for a loving father who loved me for me, because he created me. Not for what I can do for Him. I may not have fully understood the meaning of salvation until I was much older." Yet, today, I'm still learning; there is more to learn about the precious gift of salvation, and the relationship God wants to have with us.

Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ( 2 Tim 1:6 NKJV)

6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ( 2 Timothy 1:6 NIV)

Wow! 2 Timothy 1:6, The verse just before one of my most important life verses. How could I have missed it for so long? Ya know, the Greek word for gift is charisma, which is a gift of grace, an undeserved gift from God, referring to not only salvation but gifts of the spirit. 

God lit the fire in your heart!  In my heart! It happened when we came to Him and received salvation!  The fire was lit and gifts of the spirit were distributed as He felt necessary. It is up to us to keep the fire going and to work and flow in the gifts of the spirit as He sees fit. Not just when it is convenient for us. ( Those last few lines didn't necessarily come from me, because to me, it's a bit anxiety provoking)  So when I feel my light isn't burning like it once was, I suppose there are some things I should be doing to stoke up the flame. 

Since coming to the realization, that I needed and wanted that relationship with the Lord, and receiving the gift of salvation, I've had many times of growth and rededication. I've also had many times in my life where I have strayed, allowed certain things, people, and relationships to influence and even alter the direction my life was headed, not always in a good direction. I've had to turn around many times, often feeling like I was at square one. Isn't it wonderful we serve a God of second, third, even 70 times 7 chances? 

The wounds of the past, due to my poor choices, and some times the choices made for me, may be healed, but not with out scars left behind. The amazing thing about scars is that they were once wounds that were a bloody mess, but through the cleansing and healing of the Holy Spirit, they no longer fester and ooze. Scars remind us where we've come from, and what we've been saved, cleansed, and healed of. Even as Thomas in John 20:27 understands, Jesus is recognized by His scars. It wasn't His sin but ours that caused the scars. He shares in them  to be used as a reminder to give testimony of God's unfailing love. 

Being in this new marriage I'm in, and sharing this new life, I have been given a new glimpse of God's love, and what a Godly relationship should be like. Most importantly what His love looks like. Things are so much better these days. As I look back through my past and all the events that took place to get me here, it reminds me of the way precious metals are refined. To remove all the impurities, to make it stronger and more valuable, it must go through the fire! And I've been through some pretty hot flames, often raging infernos.  With out it all, I don't think I would appreciate the life I have now. 

My husband and I live a pretty simple life with hardly any material possessions in comparison to many in our country and even some around us, we don't go on extravagant vacations, or own fancy cars, or anything like that. All of our furniture is second hand and mostly free, we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment that costs way too much, we barely make it pay check to pay check, no matter how hard we ( I should say my husband. He works harder than I) work. Yet, we appreciate all that we have more than we did when we had the "stuff"  before we lost it ALL (my husband had much more to loose than I). Life isn't about the stuff, it's about where your heart is for the Lord. About the relationship  you keep with Him, and moving forward.  Psalm 24:3-5 says, "Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?

    Who may stand in his holy place?
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
    who does not trust in an idol
    or swear by a false god."

It is my desire to receive and keep clean hands and a pure heart, after emerging from the refining flames, in order to stay aware of and or recognize the presence of the Lord. It's in the presence of the Lord we find our hope and future. 

While I've been fighting back the darkness, like a mist around the edges of my mind, and the anxiety that wants to creep into my thoughts these past couple of weeks, I've used this post I'm writing here, and my current Bible study to help stay focused on Him. In doing so, a thought has been trying to settle in my heart since last night's Bible study... 

Ya ever feel like one of those people who never seem to catch a break, while you watch others around you who seem to get everything handed to them? Maybe not everything, but things just come to them naturally, and they probably don't even pray about it. You pray about it, you work hard, and you do your best in all your humanness to live "a good Christian life", and you still seem to miss out. It's frustrating to pray for something for so long and seeming to never get it, or feel your prayer wasn't heard, or think it's been delayed by some action or inaction you took or didn't take?! The thought I struggle with, yet know I MUST BELIEVE IT, or loose my mind over current situations, is this: "It doesn't come naturally because there is no glory in that. My prayers are heard and answered, either now or in the future. It's in a supernatural way so that there would be no denying that the answer or solution came from God the Father who loves me more than anyone else could, which further reveals  His glory." I've seen that supernatural answer after praying for the same thing for almost 20 years! So, I know God hears and answers in His time for a reason, grater than our limited minds can understand.

However, tonight in all my messiness and inability to see the whole picture, my hope and future seem a little distorted and veiled. I am thankful, I know He is on the other side of the veil and when the time is right, He will lift it and show me more of what I need to see in order to increase my faith and keep me moving forward. Until then, I won't give up my hope in knowing He holds my future, and I know it's better than anything I could ever dream. In the mean time I could use some of that supernatural intervention in my life.