YOU OWE ME! ... GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON

You owe me! 

Get over it and move on...

We are all human and live in a fallen world where sin reigns, a world that will one day be redeemed. 

Reading in Genesis 2:4 through 5:32, the very beginning of history, we learn Adam and Eve were the main object of God's creation.  His creation was beautiful and innocent. Adam and Eve had full access and daily fellowship with the Lord, they  knew Him and his desires for their lives while living in the beautiful perfect garden created just for them, that provided all their needs with out having to work for it. However, it didn't take long before it was over-turned by the self-willed disobedience of Adam and Eve. Fellowship was severed and evil began to twist, turn, and knit its cancerous entanglement through the progression of history. 

Evil has infused itself  in all aspects of our life including; the government, places of employment,  schools, social media, books, and news casts; sadly, even in our own families, the list could go on and on. It has strained our relationships with others and has further separated us from the Lord. 

Through Jesus we're given the gift of restoration of fellowship with our creator. We're offered forgiveness! It is a gift we have the option to take, open up, and share with others. We share it with those who have harmed us or robbed us. Are we so much bigger or more important than God that we can withhold forgiveness from others? Are we so great that we would turn our nose up and refuse to even accept the gift? 

 I don't know what you have experienced in your life that is so great that you are unwilling to forgive. Unfogiveness is pretty much saying, you'd rather hold on to the pain and hurt, or wallow in the depression caused by the hurt and pain you refuse to let go of. That's a hard truth to swallow. I know I've had to do it myself. As mentioned in my first blog post here, some know, I've had to forgive the abuse by multiple people in my life: sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and abandonment. All of these abuses were experienced over a span of time by different individuals, some even in authority over me. 

While I have forgiven and moved on. I've stopped feeling like those who have harmed me, hurt me, robbed me if dreams of a future I thought I was going to have, owed me. I wanted them to hurt as much as I hurt, cry as much as I cried. But I had no power to affect their heart, that was up to God and them, weather or not they were willing to turn to the Lord. Forgiveness, letting it all go, and giving it to the Lord to take care of is so freeing and healing!! It doesn't mean that the offenses are now okay and in some situations doesn't mean we will have restored relationships. It does mean that it is okay to move in and have the life God wants us to have. One that is restored, blessed, and has hope and a future. It also gives us a chance to forgive ourselves, because we know that some of the hurts, pains, and offensive things done to us would not have happened if we didn't put ourselves in certain situations, or if our actions didn't provoke others to stumble and sin against us. 

There are many examples of forgiveness in the Bible. Things happened that we couldn't imagine going through ourselves. While I have been homeless, I never had to live in a cave running for my life. I never had to consider eating pig slop.  I have had some inappropriate relationships, but never faced stoning. I haven't been sold into slavery. But these people had and yet they forgave and or was offered forgiveness.

Esau forgave his twin brother, Jacob for scheming, plotting, and later stealing a large part of his inheritance. (Genesis 33)

Joseph, the youngest son of 11 brothers forgave all of his brothers who were jealous of him, kidnapped him, threw him in a pit, and sold him into slavery where he later encountered false accusations and was thrown into prison! However, through it all Joseph never turned from the Lord. Through God's provisions and blessings Joseph was released from prison and became one of the most powerful men in the land. When a great famine came Joseph not only forgave his brothers but he provided food and the necessary items to survive the famine. (Genesis 37-50)

Through out 1 Samuel, Saul sought to kill David. David feared for his life for a very long time and even hid in caves to stay alive. Yet, he always responded with kindness and forgiveness to the household of Saul. After Saul and his son Jonathan's death, David became king. David made sure that their land was restored and cared for. David made a place for Saul's grandson, Mephibosheth at his own table so that he was accepted as part of the kings family. (2 Samuel 9)

Many know, the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The son of a wealthy man who wanted all his inheritance early, before his father died. When he received it all he left his family and duties at home and wasted it. When the economy tanked he had no money, job and or friends. He found himself taking whatever job he could get. Even taking care of pigs for a farmer. He was so poor and hungry, he considered eating  the same slop the pigs ate to stay alive. When this son came to his senses  and returned to his father, in hopes he could be one of his servants, he was welcomed with open arms and restored to the former position he held in the family. (Luke 15)

There was a woman who was caught in the act of adultery. She was brought to Jesus by the spiritual leaders in town. The Law of God at that time would have the woman stoned. However, Jesus said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" They dropped their rocks and walked away. Jesus forgave the woman and told her to go and sin no more. (John 8)

JESUS OFFERED FORGIVENESS AND TOLD THE ADULTEROUS WOMAN TO SIN NO MORE. Do you think she never sinned again? Remember she is human and living in that fallen world. But I'm sure she did her best and shared forgiveness in her heart with others. Once you receive that gift it is hard not to share! That's all that is required of us. Accept the gift and share it with others!!! 

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. (James 1:2,3)

This doesn't mean be happy you're going through trials, but realize in the end, on the other side of it, there is strength and wisdom you gained from it. 

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28)

Everything means everything! Even all that ugly stuff! I know for me, I have greater compassion for those who have been abused, those who have taken wrong turns, those who have hurt others. 

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? (Romans 8:31)

While we know we will face hurts in life, know, no matter what God is for us!

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.(Philippians 4:4,5)

Don't let the things of this world Rob you of your joy. You can choose to be happy or choose to stay in a state of depression. The decision is yours, a decision I didn't think was possible to make for a very long time. The circumstances you're in won't last forever and to put it into perspective, compared to all eternity it's just a short breath in time. You will over come if you want it bad enough, are willing to let go and let God's joy fill you.

"...Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:8) If your mind is kept on things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, it will be easier to (not easy) to forgive and stay out of the pit of pain, depression, and hurt. Which in turn keeps you from feeling that others who have contributed to your pain, loss, suffering, and depression, owe you!

It's not easy to let go, accept forgiveness yourself, and forgive others. It takes hard work. Anything worth having is worth working for. It is necessary to heal and move on. If you don't the poison of pain, hurt and depression WILL KILL YOU, if not physically, it will spiritually.

You owe it to yourself to forgive and move on, so that you can receive the hope and future God has for you. Will you choose forgiveness today? Or poison? 

Choose the Path With a Hope and a Future

Pathways: a trodden way, a track specially constructed for a particular use, course; route, a way of life, conduct, or thought; the continuous series of positions or configurations that can be assumed in any motion or process of change by a moving or varying system. (Merriam-Webster)

There are 106 mentions of a path or paths in the Bible that I've counted. Maybe more, but that's as far as I got.

The word pathways has been on my mind A LOT lately. God is really using it in my life, in more ways than one. I might even post a small series about pathways, we'll see. Just the other day I was in a discussion about why, if God knows the hardships or failures you're going to face along a certain path you're confident HE chose for you, why did He set you on that path? If we are certain it was HIS will for us to walk that path, why does it seem like HE set us up for failure?!  

In this particular case we were talking about relationships and why they fail, if it is God who brought the two together in the first place. Why would He bring two people together, if He knew their relationship would fail miserably and painfully? Then, this thought came to mind: There are many paths in life to chose from. We are not puppets on strings, God is gentle and loving, He won't force us follow the pathway He set before us. He knows what's along the way and at the end of each path, His and the ones we humans create. 

Often we start out on His path, but we get distracted by the world and its many pathways, we take detours, scenic routes, and sometimes get lost. It can be like getting lost in some deep dark woods, until we call out to Him and he gets us back on track. Sometimes people get so lost they forget where they were supposed to be going and who set them on the path to begin with. 

People lost and on the wrong path or no path at all get scratched by the thorns as they try and squeeze their way through, fall into pits, and get trapped in all sorts of snares from the devil. Many of these offbeat paths will lead to dispare, shame, guilt, or even death. God knows this, it ISN'T HIS will for anyone to perish. So why does He allow such things? In truth, we allow it. Most, not all, of the trials are brought on by our own willful actions or the actions of others. God does not want to see His children go through such trying times, but He'll allow it and in the end use it for His glory and to grow us in ways we never knew. 

18 “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness   I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

(Isaiah 43:18-19)

I've learned a few things on some of the paths I've traveled in life. When it's really rough and you want to know how God's going to get you through it all, know he'll do one of three things: walk you through it, deliver you from it, or take you home, as long as you keep your eyes on Him, if you trip and fall He'll catch you and redirect you, recalculate your GPS. Stay on His path the best you can. Avoid shortcuts trying to do it your own way. Doing things our way will often lead to pitfalls.

"The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

(Psalm 32:8)

"They have made God’s law their own, so they will never slip from his path."

(Psalm 37:31)

Which path will you choose? Choose a path with a hope and a future, God's path.

Who or what will you raise your hand for? Who will you follow and worship?

Luke 4:7 

If you worship me, it will all be yours.”

Who or what will you raise your hand for? Who will you follow and worship?

I never thought this blog would take the path it has gone, I'm just following the Lord's lead. I pray it continues to set examples of hope and a future!

Today there are many conflicts going on around the world, especially on our own little corner, called the United States. There are such great battles taking place in the spiritual realm that it is oozing out into our visible world. Again I repeat, keeping us distracted from the truth. 

People are taking hard stands on a wide variety of issues. They are focusing so much on the desire to be heard and to be correct, it becomes their mission, their main focus. Some are doing it, they believe, for what they deem right and just, many for the "cause of Christ". Issues like marriage equality, gender identity, baked goods, flags, gun control, and political correctness, just to name a few are over saturating the news and social media. They are constant topics of discussion almost any where you go. 

The issues of the day and the desire to take a side in order to be right and fit in is just another way of giving up and conforming to what is popular at the time, not exactly what is true. 

More and more people seem to value compatibility and like mindedness over individual expression, truth, and for the Christians out there, what God says, all out of fear of stepping on toes, not being politically correct, or looked upon as being negative. It has gotten so bad that  business managers, organization, and school administrations, heck, our own government, is creating a culture that either promotes conformity or contention. There is no more absolute truth or absolute morality. It's all about what seems or feels right to the group that makes the loudest noise! (There's that noise again that I mentioned in a previous post)

Speaking to Christians, have we forgotten who we are called to worship? Ya know, honor, glorify, idolize, revere, and serve above all others?  I've been talking a lot with my husband and a friend lately about worship and the way it is done. One way is freeing, another is binding.  Just because something sounds good, makes since, fits into the world's beliefs or feelings, doesn't mean it's of God. Be careful who and what you are worshiping, just because it sounds like God, if it goes against God  and his word, doesn't mean it is. There are well meaning Christians out there trying to make His word apply to their beliefs, it should be the other way around! 

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

(Matthew 6:33)

"If you worship me it will all be yours."

 (Luke 4:7)

"They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’”

(Matthew 15:9)

Luke 4:7 is a lie from the devil! Taking a verse out of the Bible to fit your own agenda instead of God's original plan is dangerous! If you put the verse in context you see that at this point in time, Jesus was being tested and tempted by the devil for 40 days in the desert. Those are the words of Satan himself!

We are called to seek His kingdom first! Not man made kingdoms. Putting Matthew 6:33 in context, God knows what we need. We don't need to set up new laws and set up special rights. If we seek Him first, we'll follow in his way and he'll provide what we need. We have to honestly look for Him, we can find Him in unexpected places. Sadly today, Matthew 15:9 reminds us how people (believers) are caught up in all of the man made rules and laws to make themselves seem right and all they are doing is worshiping God in vain. 

We need to go back to Lamentations and lift our hands to the Lord and worship Him, not our values, ideals, and beliefs. An actual honest lifting up our hands. My super self controlled introverted self needs to do this as well, not just as a sign and symbol of who we worship, Nazis did that. We are called to do this, as our physical actions reflect our heart and spiritual awareness of HIM. I'm learning that when hands are lifted to God in prayer or song we are releasing God's Holy Spirit, showing Him that He comes first and that we are open to him having His way and will in our lives. That is what our country needs. To lift up our hands together asking for HIS will and way. To be opened to how HE wants us to live, not how the world wants us to live. Inviting HIS presence back into the world instead of kicking him out! We can't be forgiven and blessed by Him if we don't seek and worship HIM! We ( I especially ) need to stop getting caught up in the outward  appearance of worship and let go and lift up our hands to Him admitting our need and dependence on HIM, not ourselves or the world! Our hope and future depends on God alone, not our man made laws. He alone is worthy of our praise.

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
    and let us return to the Lord.
41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
    to God in heaven, and say:
42 “We have sinned and rebelled
    and you have not forgiven. 

Lamentation 3:40-42

May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.

Psalm 141:2

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

Psalm 63:4

WHO DO YOU CHOOSE TO WORSHIP? PROVE IT.

Positioned, Not Stuck**Edited**

I know, I have to believe, because with out faith, what is there?

Lately I have to repeat to my self God's words in Jeremiah 29:11, over and over. I've been really stretched mentally, emotionally, and spiritually lately! If the issues going on in the world aren't enough, the issues in my own life are just as exhausting, if not more...

Just a year ago I married the most amazing guy ever (he keeps me going, next to God), moved to a new city and left a good paying job, only to get another one similar to the first, paying much much less. But that was okay, with my husband's job we would be just fine... Until he lost his job. Oh, he found another one, but it too paid much much less. 

We are barely getting by paying the bills. I work for the public schools so I'm off on all the breaks, delays and holidays with out pay. My intention this summer was to find a job that would replace my job and pay more or at least have consistent year round hours. That didn't happen. Out of the blue a stranger offered me a job that was way out my box/out of my comfort zone, paid much less,  and had less hours than my current job. However, I'm off for the season and after applying for many jobs and going on a few interviews and coming up with nothing, I had to take it. My husband is still looking for a second job too, with out much luck. Bills are due not all get paid, but at least we still have a place to live. 

As a couple, I feel like we're doing all we can do. We continue to rely on God, keeping Him at the center of things, and we're hard, dedicated workers. Yet,  in all my humanness I feel like we're getting locked out of certain blessings, or out of seeing the true plan God has for our lives. We want more money not only to pay the bills but to tithe consistently, help further The Kingdom, and just bless others. 

While we have struggled financially for quite some time now, God has used many people along the way to bless us and help us stay a float while we're treading in these deep waters. We are very grateful for that!! Yet, we can't continue to rely on other people bailing us out all the time! It would be an honor to be the ones to helping others for once. 

I know aside from my introvert tendencies when it comes to dealing with lots of people at once, I've come face to face with the realization that I have some pride issues. I have an associate degree, I worked real hard for, and got good grades, I'm still paying for it, and doesn't seem to matter in the grand scheme of things any more. My pride tells me, these pettily jobs I'm getting are beneath me. I want to be doing something better, more respectful. WAIT, STOP!! WHO AM I TO SAY SOMETHING IS BENEATH ME?! I sound like a spoiled child! At least I have a job! In fact as of today, I now have two part time jobs, many people don't even have that. Both jobs scare the heck out of the introvert part of me!  Then there is the part of me that really felt like I was being called into full time ministry almost two years ago, before I met my hubby. While I still feel I have that calling, I have no idea what that looks like or exactly what God means by that. So, I've been waiting for that to come to light as well. 

Speaking of my husband, while I'm doing all of this sulking about poor me and my job situation... Tim was a full time minister for five years, and on staff at other churches  for a few years before that; until his wife at the time, no longer wanted to be a pastor's wife and have all that went with it. She left him, after some time the church became divided over rumors that were started due to her leaving, he stepped down, and the church imploded. Talk about a big let down! A while later Tim found a job working in a factory, things were looking up.

 We met and got married, shortly after is when Tim lost his job. Now, he has taken on a new factory job where he is well liked, the overseers see great things in him, and he is quickly moving up. It's not the job he wanted or feels called to, but it is the one God has provided for now and he is happy to do it, even when it is 120 degrees in the factory! Tim has reminded me that sometimes we aren't stuck, we're positioned by God. He positions us in a place for a time. We don't always know why, but we have faith He has a purpose and a plan. Sometimes it might just be so we can be a witness to someone.

So, I have to keep in mind that our situation is only temporary. We both have a calling in our life. Now, just isn't the time to fully step into it. In the mean time, we have to trust that He has us positioned right where He wants us.  Doors will be unlocked and opened at the right time. HIS time.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."(Philippians 1:6). 

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."(Philippians 3:13,14)

Again since it's worth repeating:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

(Jeremiah 29:11)

***edit since I posted this a couple days ago***

Still waiting on the second job to tell me when to start... Sigh...

Everything I felt comfortable and qualified for either sent me a rejection letter or interviewed me and rejected me. I kept positive and kept praying...

God hands me a job with barely any hours, way out of my box, and even less pay. I'm positioned not stuck!

I get so frustrated with praying and feeling like there isn't any direction or guidance. We have blessed provisions, but I feel just barely. I am thankful for that, it's better than nothing. I just wish I understood just what God was trying to teach, so we could learn it, pass it, and move on!!! I'm positioned, not stuck!

Every time I try to leave that line of work(special education primary life skills) I end up back at it. I'm positioned, not stuck! So, maybe with working at My current part time job and The elementary school until December, it will be helpful. Maybe, I can find something else part time from December to June once My part time job closes for the season.

I'm positioned, not stuck! God has a plan, including hope and a future!