Are You Afraid of the Dark?

What are you afraid of? Healthy fear is natural and, it does serve a purpose. It is an emotion or feeling created by God, but not provoked by Him. It shows up  in the presence of, or when expecting danger, and it enables us to avoid dangerous situations. It also shows up  in the presence of superiors and or in those who we feel have power over us, represented by  awe or reverence.   

This time of year many focus on things fearful, scary, and spooky. The fear many of us deal with, or struggle with isn't the type of fear that is represented by awe and respect, or the fear that keeps us out of trouble. It is the fear that keeps us from doing what we know is right, keeping us from letting go and fully experiencing what God has for us. For me the fear of the unknown, entering into new situations, not being in control, and the fear of how someone else may interpret my actions often have such a paralyzing grip on me, it keeps me from moving forward and stepping into areas where God is leading. It isn't the fear that prevents me from entering a harmful  situation, God wouldn't lead me there.

If God didn't give us the spirit of fear, as 2 Timothy 1:7 says, then it must be coming from somewhere else. Satan has a counterfeit for everything God has. While God may have given me that healthy fear to keep me safe, Satan offers fear to provide a false sense of security. If I don't go here or there, do this or that, then I don't have to worry about dealing with other people and or new situations. 

Many people see me as horribly introverted, yet I often question if I'm more of an introvert, or just fearful. Being around large groups of people and enter acting  with them does drain me quite a bit, and fill me with anxiety from time to time. I don't get energized by being around large groups of people like my extrovert friends do. Although, is that just me, an introvert, quiet and reserved? If you've read through my blogs, you know how I don't care for labels and false IDs. The more I think on it, it has more to do with fear than just being an introvert who prefers to stay away from people and crowded situations. 

2 Timothy1:7 says, " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." This fear comes from the devil and keeps us from living the way God intended. We are given power to overcome anything that comes our way and given love more than any human can give. The fear of being rejected and unloved keeps so many from living a full life. I know, that was me. Sometimes it still is. When you have the love of God the Father and are accepted as His child, all other love pales in comparison. 

Through Jesus' sacrifice we're given the spirit of sonship, not the spirit of bondage to fear. Paul Reminds us of this in Romans 8:15 saying, "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption,whereby we cry, Abba, Father." When we live with out that unhealthy fear, we  can and should live with boldness as we're called. Living in boldness opens the door to mercy and grace, so we can live with out fear and go into those places God calls us. Hebrews 4:16 further says,"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." 

As we look around the world we live in it can often seem dark, there are many things, with good human reasoning that bring on fear. However we don't need to be afraid of the dark or any darkness that wants to overcome us. In john 1:8 Jesus says,"... whoever follows me will not walk in darkness..." In Matthew 5 we're reminded that we have that same light of Jesus in us  guiding us. That light should not be kept hidden but shown to the world so that others can see the light of truth and love that banishes fear and darkness in order to live a full life, the way God intended, with out fear from the darkness Satan tries to cover us in. 

Go let your light shine, don't be afraid of the dark! "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

Do You Dare to Dream? ***Edited**

Do you dare to dream impossible dreams? There was a time not too long ago, well today in fact, that I would try and keep from getting caught up in dreaming for the future. You see, it feels like most of my life dreaming would lead to hope and hope would lead to disappointments. Even though I have had incredible blessings this past year and a half (Wow! It's only been that long?) I find my self giving into fear, ya know, that false evidence appearing real stuff. That fear of disappointment is still a big one for me.

My "Amazing Man" is constantly encouraging me to dream of our future and what we want for our life, what kind of life we want to have and plans to make it happen. I feel like before he came a long, I couldn't afford that luxury, dreaming of a better life, as if dreams could really turn into reality...

On our weekend adventures we often drive through back country roads and through the woods and forest, dreaming of one day having some land with a cabin of our own. We dream of the size, what we'll put in it, our grand kids that will come visit and the holidays when we'll open our home to any one who wants to come over or needs a family to hang with. We dream of maybe using part of the land to build on and use it as a weekend getaway rental, as a place for retreats, or a bed and breakfast. It's fun to get all caught up in the dream. 

Then, reality sinks in. How could we ever afford to do that?! As it is now, if my husband and I aren't working, we're sleeping. I work two jobs, he works second shift, and is looking for another's one. We live in a small one bedroom apartment that is way too expensive! For the money we pay, we could be making payments on our own place, a nice place, perhaps our dream place. However, our credit isn't so great, we owe people money and we have bills to pay. It seems an impossible dream to me.

I have dreams of a forever home that can be a home and a retreat. I have a dream of having a career where I can make a difference, not just in the lives of other people, but in the Kingdom of God. I feel like God has finally answered prayers and delivered me from so much pain and hurt and put me in a place where I have no doubt I'm loved, appreciated, and accepted for being just me. I feel more free, at the same time stuck. In all my humanness, I feel like the Lord has brought me so far so fast and showed me so much, only to set me down and leave. That's how I "feel", but I know I need to be careful and not focus so much on what I don't have and remember He said he'd, never leave me or forsake me. Hebrews 13:5 says, "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." I know this in my head, it often takes time to sink in and stay in my heart.

God created us in His image. God is the creator, to create you must dream up what you will create. If we're created in His image, we are to be dreamers and take part in creating the life we live. As I write each blog, it is meant to keep the theme of having hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 is a constant reminder of God's will for my life. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I totally need to not loose sight of this truth! Again, I know it in my head, but some how lately, I've seem to loose sight of it in my heart. 

When you loose sight of God's dream for your life, Satan will try and replace it with anxiety and depression. I'm so weary in that battle, fighting against the darkness Satan tries to blind me with, in order to keep hope and prosperous future out of sight. 

As I type this God says, 

14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14 

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

In our life we'll have struggles, we'll feel like we're no longer hearing from God, question if we ever did at all and we'll be afraid to dream. I want to encourage anyone reading, including myself, don't give up on dreaming. God hasn't! Don't give up on hope and don't give up on dreams of a future. When things seem to be on pause, God may just be doing a work, creating your dream, and will present it to you when it's ready.

Are you still dreaming and putting your faith in the ONE who has a purpose and a plan for your life? Be content where He's placed you, you don't know what He's about to present to you. Keep going don't loose sight of the truth!

Be Prepared to Suffer for Me!

I opened my morning devotional this morning and read, "BE PREPARED TO SUFFER FOR ME." That is NOT what I wanted to read today!! I almost stopped there and closed the book. But God... He uses all things, right? So where was he going to take this? 

The accompanying scripture verses included James 1:2-4,"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I really wanted to just roll my eyes at it. The following verses from Psalm 107:21-22 also accompanied this devotional I reluctantly read, "Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

Upon reading the last verses I have to admit, the Lord has done some pretty cool things in my life lately. However, when thinking of facing the "trials of many kinds"...  in the middle of the great blessings I've had over the past almost two years, I've also had some pretty big trials and the Lord pulled me right through it. Ya know what, though?  Often, it's the accumulation of small trials that trip me up; that get me headed into a downward spiral. Ya know, that day to day irritation, and first world issues like, " I hate my hair, it's too thin, can't do anything with it, I've gained too much weight, ugh, I'm so ugly, why even bother trying to make myself presentable today!" (Oh, I sound like such a girl!) Or even worse, "why can't I just get myself together, I have these things I have wanted to get done for some time, but just keep putting it off, now it's too late." "How or why would God want to use a person like me who is so not put together and polished?! I keep asking for more of Him in my life, but I'm not even worth it. Besides He'd just ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and that's too scary." All of the above quotes are a very small snapshot of what has run through my head on more than one occasion. Pretty shallow in comparison to serious trials people face. Yet, if I dwell on any one of these thoughts it will lead me to wallow around in my bad self image, lack of confidence, and value I set on myself, which can in turn feed into the underlying current of depression I've battled off and on since a young teen or pre-teen. I'm not saying that's all it takes to get me down, often I can and do shake off those silly attacks from Satan, but there are times when I'm not in the best place and can get thrown off balance.

Today in America from time to time the average person will face trials that we'll be pretty big to us, even life altering: financial hardships, family squabbles, a death, abuse, addictions, mental illness/spiritual attack, and many other types of trials. God can and will, like I mentioned in my last post, bring you through it, take it from you, or take you "home ." Knowing He will stay faithful to us and be with us every step of the way, we should be thankful. Don't give into the depression that often sneaks in with the trials, paralyses you, and keeps you from moving forward. Don't get tripped up in the daily irritations, bombardments, and thoughts Satan pushes you down with. 

While reflecting on the trials I face, the truly hard ones and the silly ones,  I realized I haven't really had to "suffer for the Lord". There were times I felt I was suffering, but it wasn't really for the Lord, it was for me. I was learning and growing during that time. I was maturing. God was using that time to mild me into who I am today. Although,  there are people today who truly are suffering for THE LORD!

 Recently the account of a Syrian mass murder of Christians told of how none of those tortured and murdered pleaded for their lives. In fact, it was said, "One of the women looked up and seemed to be almost smiling as she said, ‘Jesus!'” Isn't there joy behind most smiles? There definitely is suffering when someone is captured, lined up, and prepared for mass murder! Yet, there in that moment a woman counted it joy, in her suffering, she knew she was about to see the face of Christ. She was confident in whom she served. Christians, we need to be sure that we know whom we serve and have joy in knowing that when our trials are on earth are done, we'll be complete and see the face of Jesus! 

It is Jesus whom our hope and future rest in. He has a plan for us. Even if we're made to suffer through our circumstances caused by our own choices or by the actions of others He will use it all for His glory. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) All is all and it's important to keep in mind that trials will come and as our world continues to change, not always for the best, we need stay faithful to the one who has called us to consider it pure joy. We need to stay faithful in the life altering trials as well as first world issues.  When we do this Satan can't get a foothold and pull us down. It's too easy to give into the stress, anxiety, and depression caused by the trials of life. It is important to stay in the practice of holding on to that joy and looking to be content. 

When the trials of life come, how great would it be to truthfully say the words in Philippians 4;11," I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." ? Is your suffering for Him, or is it selfishly in vain for yourself? More than anything, I want every aspect of my life to reflect the Joy of the Lord, and be content in suffering for Him!

22 Let them sacrifice thank offering

The Secret of Being Content is Not Fighting the Current

Are you drowning in your circumstances, fighting the current, or are you content to stretch out your arms lay back and go with the flow? No matter where you find yourself, the river's gonna keep on rolling on, weather you fight it or go with it. The river is continually flowing to Him or where we will one day stay for eternity. So we can't fight it. What circumstances do you find surrounding your life right now? 

Sometimes we get caught up in the circumstances of our life. We hit snags and get stuck. Sometimes we think we can control the flow of life, or swim completely against the current, because where God is taking us, isn't where we think we want to, or are ready to go. Yet, other times  the waves just seem so big and strong we think we're not going to make it or see calm waters again. However, all of that reasoning comes from our own thoughts influenced by the devil himself!

The ability to navigate through the waters of life, around, over, and past our circumstances depends on how we think about them. Which is why God's word cautions us about how we think. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says,"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (KJV) I like how the NIV puts it,"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." How often do we have arguments in our head about what we are going to do or how we should have handled a certain situation? We can stop those arguments if we just bring our thoughts into captivity! Under God's control, not ours and make the wiser decisions.

Every action, reaction, and emotion begins with a thought. How many people are caught in the cycle of anxiety and depression? I know I still battle it today, especially lately. I once heard a pastor ask, what he believed to be a rhetorical question,  "how could a person be depressed if they are counting their blessings?" That used to really make me mad! I thought, he has no idea and must have never battled anxiety and depression the way I have. Now, I'm a little older and wiser, and I see some truth in what he said. I may still battle anxiety and depression, but I'm also aware of my thought life before and during the episode. There are a few things in life, if I give too much thought to them, I'm in a full blown anxiety attack. There are also times when I have one that seems to come out of the blue for no reason, the true reason is, we're under attack. We all are, the mind is Satan's favorite place to play and attack. Remember the verse Ephesians 6:12 about fighting against spiritual forces of evil? It's real and it's why we're told in Philippians 4:8-13, "8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

How often are we staying aware of what is going on in our thought life? Do we bring it back when it starts to drift away out to sea? When difficult circumstances arise like huge crashing waves, it's difficult to think of anything but the hurt and possible destruction it's going to bring. When we can't see past the wave, we can't see the strong and steady hand reaching out to grab us, pull us up above the wave, and place us back in the calm waters. We don't look for it and we don't grab it. We stay there trying to tread water.  When we stay focused on what we know to be true and praise worthy, not the what-ifs, the waves we find ourself in don't seem so big. We can be content in knowing Jesus will be there when we call out to Him. He'll guide us through the rough waters and even pull us out if needed. 

Through it all, He will give you the strength to get through. There will be times you will be able to rest and float a while. But still continue to follow the way He's leading. Don't drift out to see. Jesus will save you of course, but why go through all the storms out on the sea if you don't have to? There are times we don't have control over the circumstances that might cause us to be tossed out to see, but when that happens, keep your focus on Him, like a lighthouse showing you where the jagged rocks are to avoid, and to get you back to safety.

I've learned a few things about the way the Lord works in our lives. If He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it. Most importantly, however, God will ALWAYS does one of three things: He'll either lead you through the storms, if you follow His light he puts out for you. He'll deliver you from the storm, just cause the wind to cease. Or, if you're saved, He'll take you home to be with Him, where you'll walk along the crystal seas. Usually it's the first thing, by going through the storms we have a chance to learn and grow stronger. 

Once you have survived a storm, don't you feel stronger? When you look back and see how Jesus pulled you through, your faith is increased and you know He'll do it again. If someone told you years ago, you would have to face the storms in life you've made it through, at that time, would you think you could handle it? Probably not, but you did.

Wherever you are in life, in the calm still waters or the raging storms, be content, know God is there to guide you home safely. I say all of this because many in our world, our country are lost at sea, the waters are raging, and they feel alone and weak. If you're in the calm waters floating around allow Jesus to be the light in you and use it to guide others from from the jagged rocks ahead. If you're in the storm, reach out, take His hand and follow His light. You will get through this! Your hope and future depend on Him getting you through it all.

He's There Like the Deer in the Mist

His presence can be experienced like a deer in the fall mist.

Most of the time people are too focused or consumed with what they want and how they want it, they miss out on what God has right in front of them. In the very beginning God created man to live in His presence, to love and be loved by Him, while they ruled over His creation. Men are not robots, we're given free will, but don't have the same knowledge God has. Therefore, we need the guidance of God and are expected to follow it, but not made to follow it. When we follow Him, we stay in his presence. When we don't, we loose sight of Him.

God provides everything man needs. However, when Adam and Eve had a desire to become like God instead of having faith that He has provided all they needed, sin entered the world and put a veil between man and God. The ability to be in the presence of God was removed. Although, God had a built in plan through His son to restore the ability to enter into His presence. 

Between the fall of man and the sacrifice of Jesus, only priests who were found blameless could go behind the veil and enter the holiest of holy places. It was in the man made tabernacle where God's presence dwelt. Once a year priests would go to make atonement sacrifices for man's sin. Once Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice that veil has been removed and the presence of the Lord can once again be experienced by His people, His greatest creation.

As I'm learning more about the spirit of the Lord and what it means to experience His presence and just abide in Him, I've had some pretty interesting encounters like the words that flow through as I write blogs and especially the one where He showed me my life from a different perspective during a time of worship. I wrote about that experience in a few blog posts ago titled, "Behold".  Yet, I find as I acknowledge that I've had encounters, I find myself not being quite satisfied. I want more. I suppose my humanness gets in the way. If God just downloaded into me every thing He had for me at once, I'd probably explode! So He gives it to me in small doses, my impatient self wants to know and see it all now! Kinda like Adam and Eve, eh?

See, I've lived so long with the head knowledge that there is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But missing out on experiencing the Holy Spirit. While I want to experience that Holy Spirit, part of me is hesitant, because it means letting go of control, it means giving up some beliefs I held on to, that might have been a little flawed. Which is probably why I don't get to experience as much as I could. I have to be completely surrendered. A common theme God's revealing.

I've started entering places and situations expecting to see God show up. Asking Him to fill me with His presence, and show me things, and for the most part He does.  Just not in ways I expected. Of course God's ways aren't mine and His thoughts are higher than mine. Oh, simple human, that I am.  This is going to be a life long lesson. One that will continue to be improved upon as time goes on and I just meet Jesus face to face. 

Again, being human with limited understanding I was going on a little rant while taking a walk near the campground I was staying at yesterday. It was going to be time to return home in a few hours and I was really hoping God was going to reveal something new about me, give me some sort of direction, as I've really been seeking that for quite some time. I was hoping to feel refreshed and ready to get back to the real world, and I wasn't. I wanted to see deer or something cool like I saw in the pictures while researching the campgrounds. I was complaining, although it was a very beautiful misty Fall morning, very quiet, no one, nothing else around, just me and my dog. I was even taking all kinds of beautiful pictures. "But God couldn't even show me a deer? How come He seems to talk to other people in great ways, am I any less? What's wrong with me? God I'm opening myself to you daily, do you just have selective hearing when it comes to me? How come you don't do more? Aren't we always supposed to expect great things?" My rant went on...

Just then as if on cue, a deer appears out of the Fall must (in the midst of my complaining), stops, and looks at me and seems to study my dog and I.  We stood there quietly watching with those holy goosebumps washing over me. It allowed me to take a picture. Then it gracefully leapt away and was gone faster than it appeared! I laughed and thanked God for showing such a beautiful moment and asked for forgiveness for acting like a spoiled child. 

This moment let me know or at least reminded me that God does listen, He hears me and cares about even the silly requests like, "I want to see a deer." And that I do have access to His presence, I can't exactly command Him like a genie, but when I truly seek Him, He'll be there if I just get quiet, still, and listen. Truly listen.  With that being said, I have to practice shutting off the noise in my head, quiet all my wants and desires, and listen and wait for His. Oh boy, do I need His help with this!! Good thing we serve a patient God! 

My hope and future lie in His presence, even when, like today, I don't feel it, and I struggle with some depression and anxiety. He's there like the deer in the mist, waiting for me to stop and listen and look to HIM. 

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’(Acts 2:28)

What is your focus on? Where does your hope and future lie, on what you want to see, or what God wants to show you?