Timing, Family, Christmas, 3 of 3

Christmas

I've really struggled with getting into the spirit of of Christmas this year. I began my shopping late in the season, like always, because I just don't like shopping. Before I stepped out the door I prayed that God would show me something cool, like Tim and I always do before starting out on an adventure. And He never fails to show up. There wasn't any one particular present I was in search of. Funds are low and I knew I just had to get creative. I Bought a couple things, nothing too exciting, maybe even a bit dumb. And with that, almost half my money was gone and My Amazing Man has nothing!

I began to feel overwhelmed, where's the cool stuff God was supposed to show me? I'm at a time in my life where I've never felt so blessed and want I to share it with others. I struggle with wanting to give something that will give joy to another person's heart, as much as my heart feels joy when I give. I can't afford to give to all the people I want to give to, and that's frustrating too. 

As I pondered more on the subject of giving and ranted a bit in FaceBook I thought about how it is a special time of year and I don't want to give gifts and have it forgotten about after the newness wears off. Sadly, that's how us humans are with gifts. Then, like a bomb dropping, the following thought came: the gift of salvation, that's what it's all about.(like I didn't already know that)   Now, I love to see someone excited about a gift they just received, it makes my heart happy. But it's just a thing, it won't last forever. Depending on how cool it is, the newness and excitement can fade fast and the point was null. 

My heart became a little heavier when the question came to mind, Do you think God feels like that? He gave HIS SON! How many accepted that gift with excitement and now the newness has worn off? How many have put the gift aside and never unwrapped it? 

People talk about this time of year being a time for giving, sharing, and caring, a time for families to get together, eat good food and pass out presents. Ya know, that makes it all about us. Celebrating us, our families, our good tidings. However, it should be more of a time to reflect on what God has done for us. Not necessarily what we gained, but what it took, the sacrifice, the timing, the love. When we look deeper into what we have, why we have it, then, we can better appreciate and share what we have received. 

As I said in part one of this post, God gave His Son to mankind at just the right time. There was no other time that would have been any more perfect. Same goes for all of His timing throughout our life. God isn't constrained by time but He works through it, for His glory, which often benefits us. 

God's gift of family as I talked about in part two of this post, is attached to the first gift of salvation. When we accept Jesus came to Earth as a baby, fully God, and Fully man, to set up His kingdom, and bring us salvation, we become part of a family, one greater than the one we're physically born into. We're sons and daughters of The King!  That is the greatest gift! The gift we should all share, and not just at Christmas time. When we share the gift of Christmas, the spirit of Christmas stays with us always. 

On a side note as I was doing some research about Christmas I came across this thought: We know Jesus was born in Bethlaham, to bring hope and salvation, to those who believe and accept Him as their savior, and Lord of their life. Bethlaham has two meanings, House of Bread and House of War. Interesting, I love finding little hidden gems like this. In John 6:35 Jesus calls himself the "bread of life". Jesus is the bread of life. He was born in the house of bread. Tell me God doesn't have a sense  of humor and may enjoy a play on words. However, those who don't accept Him will face the War, spiritually speaking, maybe even physically. My hope and future is in the Bread of Life, the reason we celebrate Christmas, the one who's family were adopted into, the one who isn't constrained by time but works through it for our benefit.  

God did show me something cool after all! He's always a God of surprises! 

Merry Christmas!

Timing, Family, Christmas Part 2 of 3

Family

There are quite a few definitions of family. To complete my thoughts on the subject I chose the following definitions from Merriam Webster:1a: a group of persons of common ancestry : clan b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock :  race 2a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliations: fellowship. 

Growing up I considered my family to include just the members of my mom's side of the family. In my opinion we were a tight knit group. These members included, my grandparents, my four aunts, my mom, and sister, and a cousin. Two more cousins came much later in my life. Three of my aunts had husbands, two stayed and I was only close to one. There were further extended family members too, the great___ and the great great___, but for me these were it. I felt close to them. Anyhow, all of the members of my family were very special to me, weather or not they realized it. I have such great love and respect for them all even when they didn't or couldn't see it. Most every decision I ever made wasn't with out hearing at least one of them in my head. Weather or not that decision I made was right or wrong is a whole other story. At 44 there is still a huge part of me that desperately wants their approval. I want them all to be proud of me. I had some pretty rough years that gave them all cause for concern, but I have long since pulled through amazingly! 

Through the years and after I moved to Indiana, almost 25 years ago, the connection had been severed. I still make attempts to stay in contact, but only one aunt does the same in return. It wasn't until this past weekend that I came to the realization of my mom's last words to me when I left California,  "if you leave, you can never come back." Since then I've only been back to visit maybe 5 or 6 times, if that. I knew I could never live with my mom again, and I was fine with that. But to never come back,  just really hit me.

 My family moved on with out me. I'm not a part of their lives. What I do in my life has little or no affect on them. They seem hardly aware of my existence unless I call, write, or on a very rare occasion or death of someone do I get to visit. I do have that one aunt who does her best to keep tabs on me. People change, as they should. They grow and move forward in life weather you're there to be a part of it or not. I know that is how it's supposed to be. Mostly, I miss what I thought my family was. My mom still lives in the same house I grew up in, but it too has changed. I miss the memories and ideas of what I thought I had. Even the little town I grew up in has changed. Going back can and will never be the same. It's true, you can never go back. Keep moving forward.

 I spent many years not believing I would stay in Indiana. It never felt like home. My ex had a huge family out here. They were all very close but I never felt my children or I ever quite fit in, I think my ex liked it that way. While the four of us were technically a family, it was really just my two children and I living hidden away, together but separate from the husband/father figure, in a house that wasn't much of a home. I no longer fit in California and I surely didn't fit in Indiana. I felt my children were my only family. Yet, all along there was another family I often took for granted, the family of God. I believe many have tried to be there. However, I've really struggled with letting them get too close. There have been some members I was just too messy for. 

This past weekend, I think God put things in a new perspective. As I type this lyrics to an old song came to mind, " if you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with." I have spent a long time looking back missing my family, regretting not being a part of their lives. But now at this point in my life, I have a new and amazing husband, 3 out of four of his girls are slowly accepting me, my son and daughter are having children of their own and I got to witness some pretty awesome reconnecting with my husband and his extended family. Then there is this new church family, I love them already and I know that love will grow on both sides as time goes on. It's time to say goodbye to my family in California,  go our separate ways, and be okay with it. It's not forever. I'll see them again. I'm just not a part of them. The family I thought I was going to have when I came to Indiana has fallen a part and rebuilt too. Now,I can and should freely embrace the family God has set before me. I am so blessed and thankful for the blessings!! I may have had to let go of a lot, but I've gained much more!!! 

I'm sure leaving your family and becoming a part of a new one is a big part of what that verse in the Bible is about. In fact, I just realized it's mentioned four times! If God said it once, it's important. If He had to say it more than once, you better listen. Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, and Ephesians 5:31 all speak of man leaving his family and joining with his spouse.  Then, they become one. I always knew of that verse in Genesis and I just figured it meant, they are one through the children they have together. If the marriage relationship on Earth is supposed to reflect the relationship we have with Christ, then always looking back wanting to fit into a family I'm far removed from isn't what God wants for me. There is the family of God, I need to look to embrace as well as the family unit He has restored to my life. He's given me not just a second chance at life but family too!! I have a hope and a future set in the family right here in front of me. Who's your family?

Timing, Family, and Christmas Part 1

Timing, Family, and Christmas 

I've had quite a bit rattling around in my head for a while, but not all of it clear. Until now.  I've had thoughts about God's timing. As humans we always struggle with the "I want it now syndrome" and questioning God about His actions or what we think is lack of action. 

I've really been thinking about family; how it functions, the roles people play, who you consider family, and who you don't. As I often heard it said, family isn't always blood, and that is becoming more and more clear to me. While it is more clear, it makes me very sad and happy; two very extreme emotions! And I don't do emotional, so I thought.

Then, of course it's Christmas time. Why wouldn't I be thinking of Christmas? This year just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Never thought this Southern California girl would say it, but maybe it's too warm. Maybe, it's our financial situation. However, we've been more blessed than ever!! God's economy is much different than man's, for which I'm grateful. Besides, Christmas isn't about the weather or finances, it's much more.  I think part of my lack of Christmas spirit is due to the current condition of our country, our world.

So, with these three topics knocking around inside my head, there is a lot God has laid on my heart about each one. Unpacking them individually has been a task. The question now, do I fit it all into one post, or spread it out into three or more? We'll see how it goes, they  do all fit together.

Timing, we all struggle with it. We manage or  mismanage it, and often question it. Rarely does it seem perfect. As hard as it is to believe, God's timing is perfect, yet I have questioned it over and over through out my life. Not just out of curiosity either, it's been out of full on rage and anger, and a lot of hurt. As painful as it is at the time, looking back, it's always right timing. 

It seemed through out my life I waited for long chunks of time for bad, or for what I perceived as bad situations to change, and questioning why it took so long. I've spent countless hours, days, even years waiting for circumstances or people to change. Some never did, or haven't yet, while some took decades.  In my personal life as people know from my first blog post as well as some others, I spent a very long time waiting for men in my life to be who I thought I needed them to be. I waited for an abusive daddy to return home and be a daddy I always wanted and to love me for me, not for what I can do for him. He never came.  I waited for the "perfect" man to just love me. He never did, even after 22 years of praying, crying, and trying to be good.

 I just wanted to have a Godly husband who I could respect and honor, who treated me with love and kindness, and was the leader of my home. In God's perfect timing, I got just that! In the end, was it worth the 23 year wait? Most definitely! I have never loved or felt so much love for or from another person as I do from my Amazing Man. The love God has for me comes straight through the husband I have now. While I may have felt like an Israelite wandering in the desert during that time of "praying, crying, and trying to be good", at least it wasn't 40 years! God was working on the perfect man for me. He was also working on me, before we could be presented to each other. I just didn't know it. I expected God to change my husband. However, He was changing me and making me into the godly woman my future husband needed. I learned the hard lesson that God could not bless something that was never in His will to begin with; no matter how good I was, how long I waited, cried, begged, prayed, and pleaded. 

 We were both in relationships where we cried out and prayed to be better people so that our spouses would be better, we just didn't know that our spouses we prayed for would be each other. We wouldn't have worked out if we met any earlier or later. We had to go through what we went through to improve and grow, while others watched the way we handled ourselves, (weather we knew or not at the time) good or bad, in that situation, was a witness for Christ in our lives. While God may not be constrained by time, He works through time. We may be struggling through time, but it's always for His glory! I've gone through an awful lot in the 44 years of my life, a lot of hurt and pain. I've also had a lot of joy that shouldn't be overshadowed by the suffering. Especially when the time of suffering is used for His Glory.

Many may think, that's all well and good. Those are all first world problems, not much compared to what others go through throughout the world. I know, I've thought that, a lot. However, that's where God's time and glory stand out on a much grander scale! As I said before, God isn't constrained by time, but He sure works through it. From the beginning, when sin entered the world man has struggled to see God's perfect timing.

 As the death and destruction caused by the sin that tangles God's once perfect world spreads, people are waiting for an end to it all. An end to sadness, pain, and chaos. An end to the death of dreams, relationships, family, and friends. An end to the destruction of values, ideals, faith, and hope. There is a war raging, it's not just the wars we see with our eyes. It's a war in the realm of the unseen. We can all feel it and somewhere deep inside, know it is going to come to an end, we secretly long for the end, some not so secretly. But when? Why is it taking so long for God to bring an end to all the suffering in the world?

 It has to be His perfect timing. Just like in my relationship. It couldn't have happened any sooner or later, it just wouldn't have worked. We wouldn't be ready, no matter how much we thought we were ready for the pain to end and something new to begin, it had to be at the right time, God's time. We feel so ready but only God knows when we're really ready. 

Remember, the people during the time of Jesus birth were desperately seeking a messiah. It had been about 700 years before Jesus' arrival, that a prediction was made of His coming. Isaiah 9:6 says, "For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." When He did finally come as announced in Luke 2:11,  "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord", the people were ready for the warrior, not a child or baby. They expected Him to come from the clouds, and fulfill the rest of the prophecy found in Isaiah about the government upon His shoulders. Today, that last part has still, not yet been fulfilled.  

Just think, in order for Jesus to come to Earth the first time certain things had to be in place. With the death of Cleopatra and Marc Anthony in 30B.C. just 25 years before Christ, the Roman Empire began its spread. This spread is connected with a decree of Augustus embracing the Greek-Roman world and issuing a census and tax upon the people of the Roman world. This decree caused Joseph and Mary to journey to Bethlehem of Judea, here Jesus, the Messiah was born. 

These event were a mark in time, the beginning of fateful, often woeful events that spanned the next seven decades. These events included: The crucifixion of Jesus , the birth of Christianity, and the destruction of the ancient Jewish Kingdom in 70 A.D. by Roman Legions under the command of the  Emperor Titus. Jewish people were scattered all over the known world.  With the number of Jews in the area reduced, the spread of another great religion was enabled, Islam. These 70 years had a great effect on the rest of time.

The spread of Islam gave way to, The Spanish Inquisition in the 15th Century and the confiscation of Jewish wealth by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain. This prepared the way to finance Christopher Columbus and his discovery of America, which further led to England over powering Spain and the British Empire growing. Later the Nazis sought to gain power followed by the Holocaust. The battles through out the centuries have existed between Islam and the other two Abrahamic faiths resulting in the current War on Terror. Still, it's all setting up for a certain time and place, undetermined by all but God. Acts 1:6-7 days, "Therefore, when they had come together, they asked Him, saying, 'Lord, will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?' And He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority.'"

Rest assured, there's more to come. In God's perfect time. Are you ready? When that time comes, I pray your hope and future lies in the one true God. Mine does!

...To Be Continued... 

Be Like the Shepherds

Revelations are not necessarily for the rulers or other spiritual leaders of the day only. Often, through out biblical history we find instances where God chooses the unknown, lesser known, or unlikely to reveal and carry out His will. He chose a donkey to speak to Balaam. God used a giant fish to swallow Jonah. Moses's was a murderer, yet he took part in  leading  God's people out of Egypt and was chosen to present the Ten Commandments. David, a shepherd boy was chosen to be king of a nation, in the lineage of Jesus, and He was called man after God's own heart. Even after all of  his failures, poor, and at times, deadly choices. 

Then one day, God also chose to defy the laws of nature that He wrote, and created a Star to move and guide The Wise Men to the Messiah.  The heavens declared the glory of God, just like Psalm 19:1. The Lord unexpectedly chose shepherds, not kings, or religious leaders, out in a field to announce the birth of His son, the savior of the world! 

 Besides Mary and Joseph's awareness of God's future plan for their lives and the lives of mankind, God didn't immediately share with many people. Yet, the shepherds out in the field of the same area were given the privilege of seeing not just one angel but a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God!  They were the first to be told of God's great news of the Messiah coming to earth and they were the first to share it. Why do you suppose God used the shepherds? 

I think there were a few reasons God chose to use the shepherds. First, had it been revealed to the king or rulers of the time that The Messiah was born, it would not  be considered a marvelous occasion. In fact when King Herod did hear rumors of a messiah being born the king wanted every child 2 and under killed. 

In the second chapter of Luke we're told about how the shepherds testified to Mary and Joseph: "So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them." (Luke 2:15-20)

Mary kept what she heard in hear heart. Have you ever had a time when you felt God is telling you something, but it seems so, out there, that it couldn't be from God, not really? Then, you have someone speak a word to you from God confirming that very thing. I believe that's another reason why God sent His angels to deliver the message of Jesus' birth to the shepherds. It was to give Mary and Joseph confirmation that what they had experienced with the angels was true, they weren't just crazy. At least, that's how I would feel. 

Another reason I think God made His big announcement to  the shepherds and not the religious leaders first is because, God has such a great compassion for "the least of these"and appearing to lowly shepherds instead of lofty religious leaders would keep those leaders from being tempted to think even more highly of themselves and their position. Besides, during that time the leaders weren't exactly ready for the messiah.  From what I understand who would believe it? They believed  their messiah would come down out of the clouds like a warrior not enter the world as a new born babe. THE WARRIOR COMES LATER. HOWEVER, I'M SURE SOONER THAN MOST EXPECT.

I also believe, God in all of his creativity and the ability to share the past, present, and future at the same time through His word, used this time to do just that.  The shepherds knew that one day the sheep would be  slaughtered, perhaps for sacrifices. The night Jesus was born, the shepherds  received God's message about the final Lamb who would cover the sins of the world, through His ultimate sacrifice once and for all. All sacrifice would end. This was a picture  of the past, present and future given to these shepherds.

If you look closer, we're all given a picture of the past, present and future. It's up to us to choose what to do with it. We can be like the shepherds and go see where the Lord is leading and look for what He is doing in our life. Or we can be blinded to it, let the world pass us by, and later wonder what happened and why are in the state were in. 

If we look back to the early centuries, the religious battles that raged on then, are the same that are raging now. Today, we're getting that glimpse into the past, present, and future. If we're not careful we'll be reliving some harsh history. It's never been more important as it is now, to do as the lowly, once unremarkable, shepherds. Go see what has come to pass, rejoice in the Lord who has brought us new life, and spread the good news. Rejoice in the hope for the future we're given, just as the heavenly hosts. They know how it all ends up, for God's glory!

 

Stepping into Boldness

Are you a believer? It's one thing to be a believer, it's another to be a disciple. The term "disciple" comes from the Greek word, mathetes; meaning, pupil or apprentice. A pupil learns from a teacher and an apprentice not only learns, but puts what he learns into practice while still under the teacher or master, like on the job training. We're called to be disciples, followers, of the Lord, Jesus and His teachings. 

You can just believe or you can believe and follow. Once you become a believer and make a decision to follow Christ, do you really follow his lead? What keeps you from moving forward? Often, it's actually God who will stop you from moving forward. You may have certain issues in your life aren't dealt with, or that you need to overcome before you can move further in your walk with Him. He'll stop you until it is taken care of. It's kind of like taking midterm exams. Once you pass them, then you can move on to the next chapter. We don't always pass the test on the first try. Sometimes, we need a refresher and need to take the course and exams over to remind us what we've learned. 

Currently, one of the issues or chapters I'm working on is boldness. Over the past little over a year I have had people speak into my life and pray prayers of boldness over me. The first person who ever did this was someone I had never met, and my husband hadn't seen or talked to in quite a bit. It was at a church we decided to randomly stop at on our way home from our Honeymoon. This person didn't regularly attend that church either, he too was just passing through. He prayed l would step into the boldness God was calling me too. I thought, "what a scary prayer, why would he pray that? I'm not ready to step into anything. He doesn't know me, I'm not bold."There are no coincidences in God's Kingdom.  Another time was at a sort of woman's meeting during praise and worship time. A dear godly woman pulled me aside and told me how God was and is going to move through me and how I needed to step into the boldness He had for me.  It was the last thing she ever said to me before she died. Recently, I attended a woman's conference and thought I was going to a breakout session to learn how to pray better, instead I was once again prayed for and the words of encouragement about stepping into boldness spoken over me. What is this God is working out in me? I don't see the big picture yet and as I struggle, sometimes reluctantly, to move forward and follow His lead, even if it means being bold, which for me, is a scary thing to consider.

It wasn't so long ago and quite a few times since, I felt the call to full time ministry, not really knowing what that looks like yet, but knowing it would involve speaking to people, sometimes groups of people. For me, that is terrifying! I keep trying to push the idea away and it keeps returning. While I'm in training for whatever this is going to be, I've had two occasions where I had to stand in front of groups and give talks that included my testimony. I've also very recently been called to pray for others on a prayer team, which means getting up in front of people. These, as I'm coming to realize are small exercises training me for whatever he has in store. 

Last Sunday I learned a little lesson about boldness from a young lady, who is quite a bit younger than me. I often see her in church up front freely worshipping God with what appears to be her whole being. She she hears from the Lord, is bold enough to share what what she feels the Lord is telling her, in front of the whole church, and she is just about always dead on. From the perspective of someone who doesn't know her well, it all seems effortless. However, speaking to her, she gets scared and yet she still obeys. She feels that if God gives her something to share, it is needed at that very time and there is a person who needs to hear it. She said that her Grandma told her, "when her feet feel like they are in concrete as she tries to go forward, it is because Satan doesn't want her to." That's  when she knows it's from the Lord and she needs to  go. 

Ya see, that young girl already knows a truth that had escaped me because I am so stuck where Satan wants me, in fear and being over self conscious.   She knows she can't let a person miss out on a blessing because of her fear. That's where I need to be, at that level of trust. If I can't give God ALL of my trust, how can I receive all of what He has for me and move forward in the places he wants me to move, and receive blessings He's holding for me. He has a plan, future and hope for me as I have always known to be true. He's holding it out in front of me, but it's up to me to step up and take it. 

"And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—" (Luke 14:27,28)

The cross we are to bear is whatever burden, test, or trial we have set before us. If we aren't willing to bear our own cross, why should we expect God to grant us any hope or future? What does it cost us if we don't step up, move forward, and bear that cross? What are the rewards if we do? Are we willing to miss out? 

In reality Jesus already carries the heaviest part of our cross, and will be there helping us as we carry ours. In fact he says in Matthew 11:28-30, Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” I thought of that verse while looking at the shadow in the picture I took over the weekend from my church's Christmas display with live nativity. The shadow in the picture looks like the cross is being held by someone much bigger. Jesus holds up the cross we bear so we aren't overcome by the weight. He's there while we go through the tests, trials, and burdens in life, the ones usually caused by our own making. He's there as we allow him to administer tests in order to move forward. Step up and take what He is offering. I'm working on stepping up into that boldness!

What are you missing out on today because you're afraid to step up and take it? 

If You Don't Deal With It, the Past Will Continue to Bite at You

If you don't deal with it, the past will continue to bite at you.

Have you been struggling to hear from God, searching for direction, or just asking what He wants from you? I have. I've really been trying to set aside quiet time to be still, wait and listen. I learned something... It's not always that we can't hear God, we don't always like to hear what He says. It became very clear to me today after pushing it away for a while, that there were things from my past I haven't completely taken care of. How can I minister to people, encourage them to deal with issues and pray over them if I haven't done the same in my life. Is it easier to say ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Stand up and walk’? (Luke 5:23) It's been easier for me to say I forgive, give forgiveness, and say I accept  forgiveness, but to walk in it, is a greater challenge.

So, God poked and prodded me into writing the following letter and half way through it He decided I'd share it in my blog after I sent it. How can anyone seek out hope in the future God has for you, if you find let Him take care of the past?

Hello,

Surprise! Bet you didn't expect to hear from me, eh? The Lord has really put you on my heart lately. I've tried to push the thought away but it kept returning, so apparently God wants me to tell you what's been on my heart for quite some time. I know shortly after Tim and I were married you sent him a message of gratitude and he let you know that he knew our history and believed I didn't want any contact with you. I don't know if you understand what a difficult spot it is for me to explain to my husband, or anyone for that matter why you're not in my life. I understand why it would be difficult for you, but I can't exactly step into your shoes and see it from your point of view, you can't do the same for me.

I'm not sending you a message to rehash old wounds, to ask questions, accuse, or blame. I just feel there are still some pieces that aren't quiet healed yet, in both of us. That healing will only come from forgiveness. Forgivenesses doesn't mean I'm willing to have a relationship, it just means I'm letting go of all the hurt, pain, blame, and confusion, while giving you the opportunity to do the same. There have been many times I've said, "oh, I've forgiven, moved on, it's no longer an issue." But, I think there are small pieces I managed to hold on to. 

First, I want to say, " contrary to what the rest of my family would like to believe, you are not to blame for all the problems, issues, and poor decisions I've made in my life." What happened, happened. It was wrong, horrible, and in human eyes, unforgivable. When you left my life, really left my life, for me, it was over. 

Although, the I've heard accusations from other people, I can't speak to anyone else's experiences, encounters, or life with you. That's not my place or purpose. I forgive you for the sexual abuse that took place while you were still married to my mom and living with us. 

However, the harder things to forgive are the lies and stories you told for years after you moved out, to impress, divert real issues, and or make yourself look better; trying to appear as someone you're not. For a time I possessed those traits as well. Secondly, I'm letting go of that hurt and releasing you from blame. There comes a time a person knows right from wrong and they can't use their past abuse or hurts, or the way they were raised, as an excuse, as to why they make the choices they make. 

Third, I've struggled over the years knowing I had a dad somewhere out there, that could never fill the role of dad or now, grandpa and great grandpa. Instead, I worried if he's out there hurting other people. I wondered if you went on having a better life than me and mad if you did, thinking you didn't deserve it. There is part of me that felt like you deserved to be forever punished. But you know what? Jesus doesn't treat people that way. He has grace and mercy for EVERYONE! 

In God's eyes, a sin is a sin, no matter how big or small. It is not my job to take inventory of another person's life and it is not my job to judge. If I came to Jesus and asked for forgiveness for the lies I've told and the people I hurt in my life time, He would extend grace and mercy to me. Am I greater than the God of the universe? The one true perfect God of all? No! Compared to HIM, I'm no more than a speck of dust, sitting in the back corner of a room, somewhere that has been forgotten about. But, He sees me, who I truly am and loves me anyway. Who am I to judge or withhold anything? 

I don't know where your walk with the Lord is at, or if you even have one. If I asked you about it, I'm not sure I'd believe anything you said, but again that's not my job to make a judgement. Letting go means it's all between you and God now. I'm letting go of all the past hurt, the blame, and excuses. You're free from my hanging on to any shred of hurt, judgement, or bitterness.

Finally, I pray that God would do an amazing work in your life and bring healing to your heart and bless you richly. 

Dee Dee

WWIII The Beginning of the End. What happened to hope and a future?

WWIII The Beginning of the End. What happened to hope and a future?

Terrorists are attacking around the world, including places we would not have thought of before caused by suicide bombers, as well as people using makeshift weapons. There's conflict over religions: Muslim vs Christian and Jew; Islamic and Judaeo Christian ideals. The influx of immigrants feared to have been infiltrated by terrorists are creating suspicion and unrest. World wide travel alerts are declared and, military as well as passenger planes around the world getting blown out of the sky. There are countries in financial crisis. Security is the biggest concern  and yet, questionable actions are being taken by world leaders including the U.S. President. It doesn't seem to be a matter of if, but when more terrorist attacks on a large scale will occur  on American soil. Rumors of the beginning of WWIII circulate, and it feels like our world is in chaos. Where is our hope and future?

I can't imagine people in this world reading the headlines and going through their daily lives in this chaotic world we live in, with out trusting in the God who created the beginning and holds the future. How could they live with out having hope in something greater than themselves?! 

There have been times in my life where I have felt that there is no way I could take another breath or survive another second living in the space of time I was living in if it weren't for my Father God, Jehovah Rapha (God who heals), Jehovah Jireah (God who provides), Jesus Christ to hold on to. How do people go on with out knowing a God who heals the broken and provides for the weak in desperate times? The times today feel desperate. 

As I was telling a friend the other day, "Part of me really feels like time is speeding up to an end and I'm not prepared enough to go into the battle before the end comes. Imagined or real, I don't know." The book of Ezekiel seems to be unfolding, people are missing it. I think the unseen spiritual battle that rages around us in the unseen world is becoming more visible. I think it is more important now for believers to hold on to what they know is true and start really walking in it! Walk in the truth you've known all along. The truth is that there is power in prayer,  there is a God who has called us into action to live in His will, not our own, and that same God IS coming again. Are you ready? 

 There are those who have turned from the truth or who have allowed the world to blind them from it. It's no longer safe to sit on the fence in your beliefs. As I type this, I know, God is speaking this to me as well, especially to me. I've let fear of the future rather than the hope of the future rule me for too long!

I believe people today have taken sides and are unmoveable in their beliefs and ideas. God has allowed their hearts to be hardened. For this reason, I feel focusing on or speaking to followers of Christ or those who have the ears to hear, and choose to listen, is becoming more important. They are the ones who should be willing to take a stand. Too many have chosen to bury their head in the sand and not see or hear the truth that is around them. It's time to stand and be prepared for anything that comes our way.

Romans 8:27 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Everything is everything. This verse is a promise to those who love God. Hold on to it and know it will all work out for good. We can be thankful in these desperate times knowing we have a God who not only is aware of what is going on, but who will use it for good!  Be thankful we have hope! Again, I repeat the key verse of my blog,  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11"(NIV). The NLT version's wording is great for these times, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." God does not plan out disaster for believers, His plans are always good! I am so thankful to be serving a God who has my best interests in mind not his own, because He loves me. He loves all of His children who have answered His call! 

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. (Colossians 4:2)

We need to stay alert and mindful of the God who holds our future. We need to stay thankful for the hope and provisions seen and unseen. Where are you Christian? Where are you standing as the unseen battle rages on? Where will you be standing when the invisible becomes visible? Where do your hope and future lie? 

*** Funny how this is not the Blog post I set out to write today. It must have been God's intention, not mine. It was going to be on warm fuzzy feelings of thankfulness. Thankfulness is in there though.

Blessings, on this time of Thanksgiving in the USA..***

Falling Apart or Falling Into Place?

Falling apart or falling into place? 

2 Chronicles 15:44 But in their distress they turned to the Lord, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them. When things are falling a part it is good to know we have a God greater than ourselves we can turn to. He can give us peace, comfort, understanding, and wisdom in the middle of our distress.

For Christians, I believe it is safe to say the following verse would be one that would bring a feeling of comfort. Psalm 50:15 states, "and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” Although, I've noticed among certain social circles lately, after recent tragedies around the world, many are saying prayer doesn't work.  Bad things still happen. Sadly, those who believe that, are missing out on so much. They completely miss the point of prayer and the power it holds. 

How many wait until tragedy strikes before they call out to the Lord? How many already live a life honoring God and have the right to call out to the Lord? Does everyone have the right to call out to God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, in a time of need? The Lord is not a genie. He is not there at our beckoning and call. In fact if you haven't accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior it's like God never knew you at all. 

There are true and false disciples or believers who follow Jesus. Those who allow God to be Lord of their life and those who don't.  In Matthew 7 we're given an example of how we would be treated if we don't truly know the Lord and call out to Him. "21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’"

 Doing good things, being a good person won't get you to God. You have to let Him lead you to Him. Follow His lead, don't take the lead. Heaven isn't some far away place that we will one day experience, it is where ever God rules and reigns, where His presence is, He reigns. Through prayer you can be in His presence. You miss out on that if you aren't yielding your life to Him. That's a huge thing to miss out on!

If He never knew you, how could He hear and answer your prayer. 

We have our friend's phone numbers and we have our parents' phone number, right? If we were ever in trouble, we could call them because we love them and trust them to be there for us.  However, with out their number, we can't call them. With out knowing them, we'd never have their number. How much more would Jesus be able to do for us than our family and friends. He knows us and loves us more than our closest friends and family ever could. Can you call out to God? Do you have His tole free number; the salvation that connects you directly to Him?

There are also those other so called friends and family members in our lives.  Unlike those you have, who you can call and get great advice and support from, there are others you can't. Honestly, there are times, because you do know them so well, you wouldn't pick up the phone if they called because they are so needy and demanding. They only call when they need something. After a while that gets pretty old. 

How do you think God feels? He had so much love that he created us to have fellowship with Him. However, what if instead of fellowship, all we did was call  when we wanted Him, when it was convenient, or we needed something?  Why should He answer? When we fail to honor Him after a while He'll remove his hand of protection, let us go our own way, do our own thing, until we are ready to be in true fellowship with Him, not just spend time with Him when we want something.

Being out of fellowship with the Lord can be a scary place. As time passes you will feel like you're falling a part. You start getting attacked by the lies and fiery darts of Satan's wrath. Little things here and there start to build up: you're late for an appointment, you loose things, you're easily irritated or distracted, your thought life becomes negative or even dangerous and hopeless, and you have moments where nothing seems to be going right. It happens when you're feeling tired, low, it's late at night, or your  unprepared and unprotected. It's not all the time, it's when you least expect it, when your guard is down. I feel like that is where so many people are now. That's where our country is now. People are falling to pieces everywhere!  But, with God instead of just falling a part, those pieces could be falling into place, if we just give them over to Him. 

We can give the pieces of our broken life to the Lord just by praying to Him asking Him to put the pieces back together in the way He intended them to go, not how we thought they should fit. As many know from reading my past blog posts, I've had to do this more than once in my life. 

There have been too many times my life had began to fall a part, and each time I try on my own, to shove the pieces together and make them fit. The pieces become mangled and sometimes even more broken, some of the paint gets chopped off and some pieces seem to be lost forever. It isn't until I finally get tired of trying to force it all back together, making an ugly mess, give up, let go, and let God. Then, the pieces fit together effortlessly and the big picture takes shape. The light shines on it all and I begin to understand. One day I may learn to skip the mess of forcing the pieces to fit and just let God guide them to where they belong. 

What people need to understand about prayer is, praying is more than just giving all your worries and problems to the Lord, it's a way of communicating and having fellowship. It's something I'm still working on myself, and believe it will be a constant learning and growing process until I see the Lord face to face. It's not a one sided conversation, "thank you Lord for this, give me more of this, help me with that, bless those people..." If you can quiet the noise in your head and listen, really listen, seeking His will and guidance, His comfort and peace, you'll receive it. In Hebrews were told, to  come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help.”  We can have such a relationships with the Lord as he is our heavily father, we can approach the throne. He knows us and loves us!

Colossians 3:16 reminds us that through prayer, His word will dwell in us. We will be able to better understand what His words in the Bible are telling us and how we are to apply it to our life, in order to keep the pieces from coming loose and falling out of place to begin with. It may not be in an audible voice, but you can receive feelings, impressions, and images. I can't say I understand how it all works, but I know it does from personal experience and the experience of fellow believers. We can hear and know what he wants for our lives. Not that I always get it, but as you (Or I ) grow in the Lord we'll hear and understand more.

When the world around you seems to be falling a part with an uncertain future. Your hope and peace can be found in the only one who can not only put the pieces in place, but hold them together. As you let go and let God the pieces of life will fall into place, your hope and future will be secure. Are you falling apart or into place?