Spring Forth

10 Life's been a bit of a struggle lately. It's amazing how finances can put such a strain on a person and on relationships. My husband works so hard for us both. He works at two jobs, neither are his calling or what he wants to be doing. He's an ordained minister and he works in a restaurant and is a trainer in a factory.  Be that as it may, it puts money in the bank. One job is slightly more demanding, physically, while the other requires a little more mental stamina. Both keep him on his feet the whole time.

While at one time I have worked at three jobs, mentally and physically they completely wore me out! Currently I'm just working at my one job. Being a special education teaching assistant in a primary life skills classroom is something I've done for many years, I love it! Yet, recently I feel, all of the years have taken a toll on me mentally and physically. The average turnover rate for such a position is about 5 years. I've lasted 15, not all in the same school, though. Taking a huge pay cut almost two years ago when I changed school districts, makes the job a little harder to enjoy. On top of that, if there is a snow day, two hour delay, or some sort of break, I don't get paid. With student loans, car payments and other unforeseen debt we have acquired, along with daily living expenses my job isn't helping much.  Which puts further mental strain on my husband and I both.

 I've come to the realization that to keep with the current theme of my life, it's time for a new change. A career change. Who knew getting your foot in the door to some place new in a new town would be so difficult? Adding more stress and strain to a relationship. Now, we know neither God nor Satan caused this situation we find ourselves in to happen. It's just part of life in this broken world we live in. That doesn't mean that Satan won't get in there and start whispering lies. Trying to get me to believe that " I'm not good enough or worthy enough to find a better job." Or telling my husband that "I'm lazy and I'll never get a job and he'll have to be doing all the work to provide for us. All the bills and all the pressures will always be on him." It is Satan's goal to destroy families to destroy relationships. If he can get you to believe lies that your spouse is not going to contribute, work together in supporting each other, and care about you, It can really drive a wedged between two people. When this happens, people will either lash out at each other or withdraw for fear of hurting the other. Neither action is good for a relationship. It's important not to let Satan have that foothold. 

My marriage may not be perfect, but in my eyes I think it's pretty darn close. Here's a glimpse into my day today and how my Amazing Man shows his love and how he cares for me: My morning had already started off pretty bad. I had nothing to wear all my clothes (not that I have a lot, compared to most) are either dirty or I've gained too much weight to wear them. I was too tired at three in the morning to take my dog out when she was whining about it. Like a horrible mom to my little Roxy I made her wait until after I took a shower. I forgot about her wanting out at 3 until she was whining at the bathroom door. The poor dog, she didn't make it, and peed right outside the bathroom door. After dragging out the carpet cleaner, wearing my uncomfortable clothes and cleaning up the dog mess, I proceed to the kitchen where there's NO COFFEE, nothing to make breakfast, and nothing to make for lunch. We hadn't gone to the store in a while. This day just isn't looking great at all! 

I go to my room where my husband is still laying. I lay beside him and began to complain about my rough morning. He quietly listens while I lay beside him ranting, and then he gently remind sme it's time to get moving, we have to go to work. We get into the car and make our way towards my work he makes a little detour and I'm sitting there in all my grouchiness, wondering what he's doing. I'm going to be late. My Amazing man pulls into The closest Circle K, goes right in and buys me some coffee, breakfast, and something for lunch. Who's heart isn't going to melt at that?  He presented to me and said, you gotta have your coffee to face today and something to eat.  

We arrive at the school as the busses are lining up. I kiss my man good bye, feeling blessed as he leaves. I take two steps and drop my coffee on the ground. Like a water balloon, the cup bursts open and coffee is splashed across the sidewalk. I stood there just like a child looking back to see my husband driving away and I began stomping my foot and letting out a loud groan of frustration.  A near by bus driver sees me and says, "you didn't want that coffee anyway." I'm pretty sure I gave her the evil eye. Isn't that how life is? It's the accumulation of the little things that trip you up and cause you to do, say, and think things that aren't always of good character. So I ended up texting my husband to complain more, " I DROPPED IT ". Ya  know what? He made a special trip and brought me more. 

Now you know my Amazing Man works two jobs. However, today he got up a little bit earlier because we're down to one car for now, and he wanted to have time to go do laundry before he went to his first job. After finishing laundry and going to his first job at a restaurant he did the grocery shopping! At the end of my day, 

My day continued to go on just as it started, little irritations and minor conflicts kept parading themselves throughout my day. All the while my mind battled between focusing on our current financial situation and trying to give it up to the Lord and Ficus on Him, and to do my job as if I were doing it for Him. At least I have a job. It seemed like the day was a constant spiritual battle. 

Tim picked me up at work and I didn't really want to continue to complain more about my day, but man! So as we make our way to his second job he listened to me vent. Before I left him at his job, he suggested that I don't go straight home, I should stop at the park and hang out by the river and have some time with the Lord. He also suggested I should have the women at my Bible study pray over me tonight. I didn't want to do either, but what would it hurt? 

As I absorb the warm sun reflecting off the water, I close my eyes, exhale and just give it all to the Lord. It was there I noticed all the signs of spring, a new season was finally here. It was there I was led to the following verses:

Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed.
11 Truth shall spring out of the earth,
And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12 Yes, the Lord will give what is good;
And our land will yield its increase.

Psalm 85:10-12

Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall springforth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:19

For as the earth brings forth its bud, As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth, So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

Isaiah 61:11 

God is doing a work, my current situation is just a season in life. He is making a way and soon our situation will change like winter changes to spring. Peace washed over me as He whispered these truths to my heart. He is about to do great things. I stayed a while to enjoy the view and take a couple pictures.

At Bible study I gained the courage to ask for prayer. I've never done that before, especially from a group of people. I haven't really ever had friends who would just pray for or with me, here I had a group of women who lent a hand and prayed powerful prayers over me. I don't know if they felt it or not. But I felt the presence of the Lord in a way I never have before. I can't really even put into words what I felt. It was physical, emotional, and I suppose spiritual feeling all at the same time. I wanted to hold on to that feeling as long as I could. I replayed the the prayers of the women in my head as well as the time at the park on the drive home. 

God is making things new again. They will spring forth and all will be for His glory and righteousness. Like struggling through winter and knowing with out a doubt spring and all its beauty is sure to come, so is my life right now. 

Thank you Lord for planting the seeds of hope in my heart today, help me not to forget to take the time to watch  and see what springs forth.

My hope and future will always rest in the promises of the Lord and the knowledge that situations in life are just like seasons, I will take time to look for the righteous in each one. 

Where is your hope and future today?