Behold

Hal-le-lujah Hal-le-lujah..

Rise and shine 

your light has arrived! 

So, I tell Ya, I don't do visions and have words of knowledge. Not that I don't believe in them. I strongly believe God still works in ALL the gifts of the spirit. (Which is a little bit of a new concept for me.) I just haven't experienced them all myself, yet. I don't believe you need to have or use these gifts to show that you're saved, but you do receive them when and where God wants you to use them. That's what I would have told you before 7pm last Saturday!

Last Saturday I attended a night of worship at a pastor friend's church. It was just a time to sing worship songs to the Lord. Surprisingly, it lasted 3 hours! To me it didn't feel like it. I went into it not knowing what to expect. Just thought we'd go there see a few people we haven't seen in a while, and sing a few songs and go home. But what happened was a little bit more... Okay a lot. 

A lot of the songs we sang weren't ones I was real familiar with, but since the words were up on a screen they were easy absorb and let them wash over you. Now, I've been praying for awhile that God would speak to me and show me the gifts he has for me or to make the direction he is leading clear so that I could better live my life for His Glory. Although I'm saved, I just recently witnessed healings, amazing answers to prayer, people having words of knowledge, and even people speaking in tongues. (A lot I believe to be very real, and others, not so much) All things I once strongly believed weren't relevant in today's world. But, God has showed me different, in ways I never thought possible. During last Saturday's night of worship was one of those ways!

As we sang I believe God was showing me a "vision", a complete review of my life starting from when I was born until now. Of course I know the story of my life, I was there. I've also been reminded of when I was borne and  the circumstances surrounding the event. I've  recounted the story over the years, especially this last year as part of my testimony. What made this "vision" unique was that I was seeing it all like a movie and from a different perspective. 

As some know from reading my first blog post, I wasn't expected to live. My mom had trouble carrying babies to full term. In fact the three babies she had before me died. Being the fourth baby and my heart stopping, it seemed as if I wasn't going to be any different from the previous 3 babies. However, I had an aunt who prayed with all her heart that if I lived she would do all she could to make sure I would grow up and knew the saving power of Jesus! There was a spiritual battle raging around me from the moment I was borne, and in this "vision" I saw the battle. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I've tried not to focus on the difficult times in my life, as I've had a lot, but I've had a lot of good in my life as well as family members who showed me a lot of love. Although, in this "vision" I revisited all the instances of sexual, mental, and physical abuse in my life, the times of loneliness and the times of abandonment, and the horribly scary times staying in mental institutions, the bad choices I made in relationships, the struggle in a bad marriage, a very sick child, the fight to raise my children for the Lord when my environment was less than godly. It was all there, all the pain all the hurt... Then I got to see all the recent blessings the I received. 

 As I saw the battle rage around me with scary demons trying to hook their claws in me, God's love, light, and protection kept it all from being worse than it could have been. I also say glimpses of Tim's life, from him falling down the basement stairs at age 3 and cutting his eye and how his father carried him out. The emotional and physical abuse he endured from that same father who still loved him, the best he knew how. The trials in his previous married life and struggles of being the best father he could be considering the environment he was in. Then I saw the blessings and struggles of our current life together. All of this continued as I viewed it through the lenses that allowed me to see the unseen world around us.

I've been content in the past assuming the answer to the question why was because some day I would not only be restored, but that it would be a great witness to others and maybe even help someone facing a similar situation.

Now here's where it gets weird for me (as if it wasn't already weird)... Everything changed, it was like a dream, I'd like to say I fell asleep, but I was standing in a room singing with a bunch of other people standing and singing. My eyes were closed though, so either a super vivid imagination or "vision". I would open my eyes, look around to see that I was still there, in the sanctuary where everyone was singing. I close my eyes and I was somewhere else. I opened and closed my eyes a few times and well... with eyes closed, I was standing next to Tim in a round room, with no doors or windows. When I first found myself there, everything around me was spinning, then stopped, and I saw everything clearly. The floor and walls were all gold, I didn't look up to see the ceiling and I didn't look forward because that is where God was.  The gold was bright and shiny and there were darker gold flecks of, I don't know what, floating around in the air. We went from standing to kneeling. I had many questions but only got two answers. The answer to why, became more clear. It was/is training. Why did we have to go through so much? "To strengthen us because" HE has "a job for us to do." When, what is it? I just got, "be patient and wait, the answer will come when it is time. Not giving me all the information it is supposed to keep me looking toward HIM." So, is that's pretty weird or what!?

I chose to share all of that (even with the small fear of sounding like a nut job) to say, even though I have professed to be a Christian for many years, and believe God never changes, He can and is revealing new things. Not that there are new revelations, but that He is giving new eyes to see things in different ways. He is slowly peeling back the veil and revealing more of His plan, the one that's always been there,  and a purpose to those who seek Him.  I believe not just to me, but to the world. Just, not everyone is seeking... We desperately need to be seeking His face, His will as our world is changing fast and plunging head first into something we may never be able to pull out of, not until HIS return! Are you seeking Jesus today?