Lately I have to repeat to my self God's words in Jeremiah 29:11, over and over. I've been really stretched mentally, emotionally, and spiritually lately! If the issues going on in the world aren't enough, the issues in my own life are just as exhausting, if not more...
Just a year ago I married the most amazing guy ever (he keeps me going, next to God), moved to a new city and left a good paying job, only to get another one similar to the first, paying much much less. But that was okay, with my husband's job we would be just fine... Until he lost his job. Oh, he found another one, but it too paid much much less.
We are barely getting by paying the bills. I work for the public schools so I'm off on all the breaks, delays and holidays with out pay. My intention this summer was to find a job that would replace my job and pay more or at least have consistent year round hours. That didn't happen. Out of the blue a stranger offered me a job that was way out my box/out of my comfort zone, paid much less, and had less hours than my current job. However, I'm off for the season and after applying for many jobs and going on a few interviews and coming up with nothing, I had to take it. My husband is still looking for a second job too, with out much luck. Bills are due not all get paid, but at least we still have a place to live.
As a couple, I feel like we're doing all we can do. We continue to rely on God, keeping Him at the center of things, and we're hard, dedicated workers. Yet, in all my humanness I feel like we're getting locked out of certain blessings, or out of seeing the true plan God has for our lives. We want more money not only to pay the bills but to tithe consistently, help further The Kingdom, and just bless others.
While we have struggled financially for quite some time now, God has used many people along the way to bless us and help us stay a float while we're treading in these deep waters. We are very grateful for that!! Yet, we can't continue to rely on other people bailing us out all the time! It would be an honor to be the ones to helping others for once.
I know aside from my introvert tendencies when it comes to dealing with lots of people at once, I've come face to face with the realization that I have some pride issues. I have an associate degree, I worked real hard for, and got good grades, I'm still paying for it, and doesn't seem to matter in the grand scheme of things any more. My pride tells me, these pettily jobs I'm getting are beneath me. I want to be doing something better, more respectful. WAIT, STOP!! WHO AM I TO SAY SOMETHING IS BENEATH ME?! I sound like a spoiled child! At least I have a job! In fact as of today, I now have two part time jobs, many people don't even have that. Both jobs scare the heck out of the introvert part of me! Then there is the part of me that really felt like I was being called into full time ministry almost two years ago, before I met my hubby. While I still feel I have that calling, I have no idea what that looks like or exactly what God means by that. So, I've been waiting for that to come to light as well.
Speaking of my husband, while I'm doing all of this sulking about poor me and my job situation... Tim was a full time minister for five years, and on staff at other churches for a few years before that; until his wife at the time, no longer wanted to be a pastor's wife and have all that went with it. She left him, after some time the church became divided over rumors that were started due to her leaving, he stepped down, and the church imploded. Talk about a big let down! A while later Tim found a job working in a factory, things were looking up.
We met and got married, shortly after is when Tim lost his job. Now, he has taken on a new factory job where he is well liked, the overseers see great things in him, and he is quickly moving up. It's not the job he wanted or feels called to, but it is the one God has provided for now and he is happy to do it, even when it is 120 degrees in the factory! Tim has reminded me that sometimes we aren't stuck, we're positioned by God. He positions us in a place for a time. We don't always know why, but we have faith He has a purpose and a plan. Sometimes it might just be so we can be a witness to someone.
So, I have to keep in mind that our situation is only temporary. We both have a calling in our life. Now, just isn't the time to fully step into it. In the mean time, we have to trust that He has us positioned right where He wants us. Doors will be unlocked and opened at the right time. HIS time.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."(Philippians 1:6).
"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."(Philippians 3:13,14)
Again since it's worth repeating:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
(Jeremiah 29:11)
***edit since I posted this a couple days ago***
Still waiting on the second job to tell me when to start... Sigh...
Everything I felt comfortable and qualified for either sent me a rejection letter or interviewed me and rejected me. I kept positive and kept praying...
God hands me a job with barely any hours, way out of my box, and even less pay. I'm positioned not stuck!
I get so frustrated with praying and feeling like there isn't any direction or guidance. We have blessed provisions, but I feel just barely. I am thankful for that, it's better than nothing. I just wish I understood just what God was trying to teach, so we could learn it, pass it, and move on!!! I'm positioned, not stuck!
Every time I try to leave that line of work(special education primary life skills) I end up back at it. I'm positioned, not stuck! So, maybe with working at My current part time job and The elementary school until December, it will be helpful. Maybe, I can find something else part time from December to June once My part time job closes for the season.
I'm positioned, not stuck! God has a plan, including hope and a future!
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